Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The yet to be known route in the sea which is my life.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 743650" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>There is a point in paddling, traversing the vortex of calm, so close to those rocks, where fear can set in, and faith in ability may waver. There is really no other way but to move bravely ahead, one strong stroke after the other, the course is set, now to reach the goal.</p><p>Finish the journey intact, aware of vulnerability, relying on training and strength to get through the rough sections of the ocean.</p><p>It is much like this journey we are on with our beloveds. There are ways to get through the tough times, when doubt and worry set in. If we pause for a moment to see the patterns, the routes we have taken in the past that led us on a course of despair, the moments where we have overcome the hardest obstacles. The times when circumstances have beat us down to inertia.</p><p>What I pondered upon today, was the patterns in life that are evident all around. It is said that when a wave dashes upon the rocks, it sends a ripple across thousands of miles that can be detected by navigators seeking land. If you look at a map of winds and currents, the repetitive swirls are patterns across the globe.</p><p>Likewise, there are patterns in relationships, emotions and reactions that we are destined to repeat until we recognize them and seek to respond differently. Copa, I see you recognizing this pattern in your sons response to your text and you are working to change your reaction. That is good.</p><p>I see this in many posts here, including my own, where our adult kids have a way to get to our hearts and the base of our emotions to elicit this patterned response. We flounder near the rocks, uncertain of where to turn, what to do. The ripples of sadness that well up and turn into this never ending feeling of..is it emptiness? I have been there so many times, and am working hard not to go there again. That place where emotions free dived so deep into an abyss that one could barely come to surface for air. It drove us to uncover and examine the deepest hurtful experiences in our childhoods, a pain so raw and yet, here we are. Trying to figure out the meaning of it all.</p><p>Shall I dare to say that this journey with my two off on their own crazy, off the charts recklessness has forced me to look more inwardly, examining my self, seeking ways to strengthen, watching for my own patterns that lead to unhealthy habits, trying and failing and trying to replace that with healthier choices.</p><p>I am sorry if I am adrift here in this post. I see the difficulty of this journey as a way to find out who I am.</p><p>I think our kids are uncannily cognizant of these patterns and know instinctively how to push our buttons to get a reaction. It is designed to overturn our canoe, to knock us about so that we begin to doubt ourselves, our direction. We have all seen it through posts here, accounts of manipulation and dark drama. Really, when you pull it apart and examine it, they are adults throwing toddler tantrums to get us in a position to do their bidding.</p><p>Ummmm, no.</p><p>They are pretty damned clever in how they go about it. The thing is, there is no sense in it. Their choices make absolutely no sense. Maybe that is another way to keep us as putty, we are just stunned and confused at their lack of direction. How could you do this with your life? This great gift of short time on this earth? Why are you throwing it all away like chaff in the wind?</p><p>They are stuck in a pattern. We don’t have to be. Perhaps removing ourselves from that pattern is a way for all of us, including them, to break free? Set sights on new horizons, don’t allow ourselves to act and react so predictably to their consequences. Stand loving yet firm with boundaries, for our homes, our own physical, mental and emotional well being. Refuse to be drawn into the drama, the manipulation. Stop focusing on what is impossible to control, the decisions and choices of another adult and focus on navigating our own direction.</p><p>One thing that reverberates through my mind is this- If I don’t have enough self respect and self love to guard my heart, my health, seek my own potential, protect my space, cherish peace, how can I expect my adult children to do the same?</p><p>Just my thoughts.</p><p>Wishing you peace.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 743650, member: 19522"] There is a point in paddling, traversing the vortex of calm, so close to those rocks, where fear can set in, and faith in ability may waver. There is really no other way but to move bravely ahead, one strong stroke after the other, the course is set, now to reach the goal. Finish the journey intact, aware of vulnerability, relying on training and strength to get through the rough sections of the ocean. It is much like this journey we are on with our beloveds. There are ways to get through the tough times, when doubt and worry set in. If we pause for a moment to see the patterns, the routes we have taken in the past that led us on a course of despair, the moments where we have overcome the hardest obstacles. The times when circumstances have beat us down to inertia. What I pondered upon today, was the patterns in life that are evident all around. It is said that when a wave dashes upon the rocks, it sends a ripple across thousands of miles that can be detected by navigators seeking land. If you look at a map of winds and currents, the repetitive swirls are patterns across the globe. Likewise, there are patterns in relationships, emotions and reactions that we are destined to repeat until we recognize them and seek to respond differently. Copa, I see you recognizing this pattern in your sons response to your text and you are working to change your reaction. That is good. I see this in many posts here, including my own, where our adult kids have a way to get to our hearts and the base of our emotions to elicit this patterned response. We flounder near the rocks, uncertain of where to turn, what to do. The ripples of sadness that well up and turn into this never ending feeling of..is it emptiness? I have been there so many times, and am working hard not to go there again. That place where emotions free dived so deep into an abyss that one could barely come to surface for air. It drove us to uncover and examine the deepest hurtful experiences in our childhoods, a pain so raw and yet, here we are. Trying to figure out the meaning of it all. Shall I dare to say that this journey with my two off on their own crazy, off the charts recklessness has forced me to look more inwardly, examining my self, seeking ways to strengthen, watching for my own patterns that lead to unhealthy habits, trying and failing and trying to replace that with healthier choices. I am sorry if I am adrift here in this post. I see the difficulty of this journey as a way to find out who I am. I think our kids are uncannily cognizant of these patterns and know instinctively how to push our buttons to get a reaction. It is designed to overturn our canoe, to knock us about so that we begin to doubt ourselves, our direction. We have all seen it through posts here, accounts of manipulation and dark drama. Really, when you pull it apart and examine it, they are adults throwing toddler tantrums to get us in a position to do their bidding. Ummmm, no. They are pretty damned clever in how they go about it. The thing is, there is no sense in it. Their choices make absolutely no sense. Maybe that is another way to keep us as putty, we are just stunned and confused at their lack of direction. How could you do this with your life? This great gift of short time on this earth? Why are you throwing it all away like chaff in the wind? They are stuck in a pattern. We don’t have to be. Perhaps removing ourselves from that pattern is a way for all of us, including them, to break free? Set sights on new horizons, don’t allow ourselves to act and react so predictably to their consequences. Stand loving yet firm with boundaries, for our homes, our own physical, mental and emotional well being. Refuse to be drawn into the drama, the manipulation. Stop focusing on what is impossible to control, the decisions and choices of another adult and focus on navigating our own direction. One thing that reverberates through my mind is this- If I don’t have enough self respect and self love to guard my heart, my health, seek my own potential, protect my space, cherish peace, how can I expect my adult children to do the same? Just my thoughts. Wishing you peace. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
The yet to be known route in the sea which is my life.
Top