New Leaf in my last thread wrote about the narrow path in the sea where she canoes, the path between hitting the rocks, and being lost in the roaring waves. This is the place she seeks as she navigates her life with her daughters. This quote I lifted from another PE thread called "Where is he?" I texted my son this morning because in a text before Thanksgiving he had mentioned he had been ill. I had texted a couple of times after that and he had not responded. This time he responded immediately, using his martyr, woe is me demeanor. This is his side of the conversation. "I'm not well. I'm not well at all." "No health issues. At this point, existentially I have failed. What happened in August was definitive" (that was when I kicked him out.) "I'm at the point of no return. It's way too late for any reparations. VERY sad times ahead." "Even though it's a month away, Happy Holidays." (Which is his passive aggressive way of saying go yourself.) At this point he knows fully what are my expectations and boundaries. He chooses NOT to fulfill them, and I choose not to budge either, because what I ask is basic, that he protect his health and do the most minor things to preserve it. Really. If he only went to the liver doctor, that would be enough for him to return home. For some reason he will not even do that. Fear. Whatever. I am unsure. I am feeling like if I fold about this, I model to him that there is no hope in life. No way to say no to horrible things. No way to resist. No hope to chart another course other than fatalistic acceptance of the lowest common denominator. I have told him hundreds of time that there is a way back here, but that way back entails some choice on his part to put into place just one positive thing for himself and his life. He is not a pet. He is a person. I do not want to be the person in his life that models to him that you can just do nothing or anything in life, that you can fold, and that is enough.