Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Theft & difficult child's
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="erbaledge" data-source="post: 362696" data-attributes="member: 4334"><p>Thanks Marg! You really did help clear up this 'mom listening to her fully' thing. I've been contemplating calling her today and asking her if we could please re-do yesterday's conversation, and tell her I will listen. But I don't know if it would be worth hashing it all out again.</p><p>I absolutely LOVE the idea of taking notes. Because, I think it WILL help me remember the things I want to point out that are inconsistent or outright lies after she's done telling me her feelings/opinions/whatnot. Thank you for that idea.</p><p></p><p>Now, you said this:</p><p><strong>"She needs apologies to her to be unconditional. This is the only way she will learn to give unconditional apologies. Make it clear that this is the new policy - all apologies, whether from you or form her, must be unconditional otherwise they have no value. Apologies also have to be freely offered and not prompted, or they have no value.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>Fourth - she should never be forced to apologise or make restitution, without agreeing freely to do so. If she is forced, then she learns nothing. She will be resentful and it can actually make her worse, not better."</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p></p><p>How do I go about that with a gfg15 that will not apologize on her own? (know that I really do pose that as a real question, lol, because I have no clue) She also will not have remorse for any of her actions, never has. She also lacks any cause/effect relationships.</p><p>And clarifying 'unconditional' apologizes - do you mean like, when staff tell her she must call me and apologize or can't do XXX?</p><p></p><p>Regarding the restitution, yeah, we (staff & I) have never been able to 'make' her do anything. However, it was assigned as a consequence and she has to choose to get it completed on her own (with-staff assistance), but is actually not doing well at getting it done. It will be a LONG time before she gets to come home on a home visit. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="erbaledge, post: 362696, member: 4334"] Thanks Marg! You really did help clear up this 'mom listening to her fully' thing. I've been contemplating calling her today and asking her if we could please re-do yesterday's conversation, and tell her I will listen. But I don't know if it would be worth hashing it all out again. I absolutely LOVE the idea of taking notes. Because, I think it WILL help me remember the things I want to point out that are inconsistent or outright lies after she's done telling me her feelings/opinions/whatnot. Thank you for that idea. Now, you said this: [B]"She needs apologies to her to be unconditional. This is the only way she will learn to give unconditional apologies. Make it clear that this is the new policy - all apologies, whether from you or form her, must be unconditional otherwise they have no value. Apologies also have to be freely offered and not prompted, or they have no value. Fourth - she should never be forced to apologise or make restitution, without agreeing freely to do so. If she is forced, then she learns nothing. She will be resentful and it can actually make her worse, not better." [/B] How do I go about that with a gfg15 that will not apologize on her own? (know that I really do pose that as a real question, lol, because I have no clue) She also will not have remorse for any of her actions, never has. She also lacks any cause/effect relationships. And clarifying 'unconditional' apologizes - do you mean like, when staff tell her she must call me and apologize or can't do XXX? Regarding the restitution, yeah, we (staff & I) have never been able to 'make' her do anything. However, it was assigned as a consequence and she has to choose to get it completed on her own (with-staff assistance), but is actually not doing well at getting it done. It will be a LONG time before she gets to come home on a home visit. :( [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Theft & difficult child's
Top