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therapist Appointment Last Night
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 611606" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Bunny - </p><p></p><p>First (((Hugs)))</p><p></p><p>Second, difficult child's 'stamp of approval' (or lack thereof) has absolutely no bearing on your job as a parent, and frankly, it bothers me that counseors allow kids to have so much power and input over their parents.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child used to love to compare herself to me all the time (as though we were in some sort of competition). <em>I do _______ better than my Mom!</em> or <em>Well, I keep trying to do _____ but my Mom is better than me. </em>To which I would respond "Just do your best for yourself, it is not a competition." but difficult child would go on and on - regaling anyone who would listen (yep, especially tdocs who would go on to suggest that I needed to use these activities as a chance for 'bonding' and 'quality time' - pppffftt!)</p><p></p><p>But finally, one day somebody put difficult child in her place. difficult child had once again launched into a speech about all the things she does that are better than Mom, and this woman stopped her in her tracks. She said that Mom had many years of education and experience that difficult child had not had - and it was completely disrespectful for difficult child to be comparing herself to Mom. difficult child owed both of her parents love and respect, even if the parents were not the "best" in some area that difficult child felt was lacking.</p><p></p><p>And even though your therapist seems to have forgotten this - it is still true. You have had many years of experience and education that your son has not had. YOU do NOT need to be compared to your son's abilities or standards or progress. Your son still owes you love and respect, even if he feels that somehow, your "progress" is not quite up to his child-size standards.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 611606, member: 6546"] Bunny - First (((Hugs))) Second, difficult child's 'stamp of approval' (or lack thereof) has absolutely no bearing on your job as a parent, and frankly, it bothers me that counseors allow kids to have so much power and input over their parents. My difficult child used to love to compare herself to me all the time (as though we were in some sort of competition). [I]I do _______ better than my Mom![/I] or [I]Well, I keep trying to do _____ but my Mom is better than me. [/I]To which I would respond "Just do your best for yourself, it is not a competition." but difficult child would go on and on - regaling anyone who would listen (yep, especially tdocs who would go on to suggest that I needed to use these activities as a chance for 'bonding' and 'quality time' - pppffftt!) But finally, one day somebody put difficult child in her place. difficult child had once again launched into a speech about all the things she does that are better than Mom, and this woman stopped her in her tracks. She said that Mom had many years of education and experience that difficult child had not had - and it was completely disrespectful for difficult child to be comparing herself to Mom. difficult child owed both of her parents love and respect, even if the parents were not the "best" in some area that difficult child felt was lacking. And even though your therapist seems to have forgotten this - it is still true. You have had many years of experience and education that your son has not had. YOU do NOT need to be compared to your son's abilities or standards or progress. Your son still owes you love and respect, even if he feels that somehow, your "progress" is not quite up to his child-size standards. [/QUOTE]
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