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Therapy/recovery lingo and manipulating others
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 634942" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm very sorry Janet, that you were conned. That really can happen to anyone, especially when we are desperately needing something and someone seems to be offering just that. </p><p></p><p>And you are right, I meant to use the rottweiler guy as just an example. Of course the troll on the support board doesn't so much damage as long as they are not able to con members to for example facebook contact and later for example loan money or something like that. When it stays on board, the only harm is, that we get bit more irritated or bit more callous and jaded. </p><p></p><p>What I meant was, that when people with malicious intent learn the therapy/recovery lingo, learn about conditions and so on, some of them use that knowledge, those words and techniques to more efficiently con others.</p><p></p><p>And I'm not sure if relying your gut is the best way to go. It is our feelings, our gut, that con artists use against us. It is much more difficult to manipulate facts than feelings of other people. The person I was talking about, who goes to same stables I do, is very good at using suggestive techniques. It is easier to see through it, when you have read a little about the topic but still, if not keeping your critical thinking forefront, it is easy to fell for that. She often doesn't have to ask anything, she makes others to offer it on what they feel is their own accord. </p><p></p><p>Of course one warning sign is, that when someone charms the pants off you, you should tread extra careful and start very rigorous fact checking. But of course you don't usually want to, because that person seems so amazing, that you just want it to be true. Or if it is someone you already know, you want to believe that the change in them is true.</p><p></p><p>And at times it may actually even be. The most charming new person I have met in years is my difficult child's sport psychiatric. He is a absolutely amazing listener, makes you feel really good about yourself and that he really gets you, when you talk with him. He does use suggestive techniques (partly kind of duh, mindfulness, relaxation and mental skills training rely heavily to suggestive techniques and even going near self-hypnosis) but he also uses much more subtle suggestive techniques in his communication. Both I and husband are totally besotted, even though we have actually met him maybe 10 or 15 times over the couple of years he has worked with difficult child and also difficult child really likes the guy most of time. The thing with him is though, that with him facts check up, words and actions match. I'm sure he does have more darker sides in his personal life, who wouldn't, but professionally he really is a real deal. And when we decided last fall, that from then on either we or difficult child himself would be one employing him instead of relying the teams to get difficult child that service, he really made it quite easy for us to do any necessary fact checking and provided references to show he has many long term customers, who are happy with him and grievances people tend to have with him are the like we can easily live with. But if someone like him would want to con other people, they would be extremely dangerous.</p><p></p><p>There are many ways to con other people, but one of the most effective is to tell them, what they want to hear. And at times I do wonder if for some the therapy, rehab or support groups just teach how to be effective in telling other people what they do want to hear and sounding sincere when doing so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 634942, member: 14557"] I'm very sorry Janet, that you were conned. That really can happen to anyone, especially when we are desperately needing something and someone seems to be offering just that. And you are right, I meant to use the rottweiler guy as just an example. Of course the troll on the support board doesn't so much damage as long as they are not able to con members to for example facebook contact and later for example loan money or something like that. When it stays on board, the only harm is, that we get bit more irritated or bit more callous and jaded. What I meant was, that when people with malicious intent learn the therapy/recovery lingo, learn about conditions and so on, some of them use that knowledge, those words and techniques to more efficiently con others. And I'm not sure if relying your gut is the best way to go. It is our feelings, our gut, that con artists use against us. It is much more difficult to manipulate facts than feelings of other people. The person I was talking about, who goes to same stables I do, is very good at using suggestive techniques. It is easier to see through it, when you have read a little about the topic but still, if not keeping your critical thinking forefront, it is easy to fell for that. She often doesn't have to ask anything, she makes others to offer it on what they feel is their own accord. Of course one warning sign is, that when someone charms the pants off you, you should tread extra careful and start very rigorous fact checking. But of course you don't usually want to, because that person seems so amazing, that you just want it to be true. Or if it is someone you already know, you want to believe that the change in them is true. And at times it may actually even be. The most charming new person I have met in years is my difficult child's sport psychiatric. He is a absolutely amazing listener, makes you feel really good about yourself and that he really gets you, when you talk with him. He does use suggestive techniques (partly kind of duh, mindfulness, relaxation and mental skills training rely heavily to suggestive techniques and even going near self-hypnosis) but he also uses much more subtle suggestive techniques in his communication. Both I and husband are totally besotted, even though we have actually met him maybe 10 or 15 times over the couple of years he has worked with difficult child and also difficult child really likes the guy most of time. The thing with him is though, that with him facts check up, words and actions match. I'm sure he does have more darker sides in his personal life, who wouldn't, but professionally he really is a real deal. And when we decided last fall, that from then on either we or difficult child himself would be one employing him instead of relying the teams to get difficult child that service, he really made it quite easy for us to do any necessary fact checking and provided references to show he has many long term customers, who are happy with him and grievances people tend to have with him are the like we can easily live with. But if someone like him would want to con other people, they would be extremely dangerous. There are many ways to con other people, but one of the most effective is to tell them, what they want to hear. And at times I do wonder if for some the therapy, rehab or support groups just teach how to be effective in telling other people what they do want to hear and sounding sincere when doing so. [/QUOTE]
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