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General Parenting
They sabotage orgainization & routine.
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 101404" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Have you got anyone in the area who would trade free riding for helping with the horses? I used to do that at a local stable. Worked well for everyone? I got to ride gratis and I actually enjoyed dropping by in the morning and feeding the horses and then after work to muck out the stables and again feed them. In return, I could "borrow" one of the horses whenever I wanted.</p><p></p><p>Now, I'm going to give you a simple piece of advice that is going to be very hard to follow: QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THE "PROFESSIONALS!" They are giving you advice, not orders. If they suggest routine, ask them how they would implement the routine. Try their way and the next time you see them simply state what worked in your household and what didn't. Ditto on suggestions to be consistent. And, yes, I'm willing to be you have basically done this before. Just keep doing it.</p><p></p><p>I remember one meeting with my daughter's social worker and therapist. The social worker made a slew of impossible suggestions. When she was done, I looked at her and asked if she honestly expected me to follow them even a little? I told her I would be happy to try if she would be willing to come over and earn my living for me, clean my house, give me some me time and find me some time to breath. She dropped those ideas, came back two months later with a new game plan that was a little more manageable. It took about 4 years but the pros finally came to the conclusion I was doing the best I could with a very difficult little girl and actually started offering me some help rather than hindering me. However, part of the fault did lie with me -- I took their suggestions as orders and would jump through their hoops trying to make them happy rather than doing what I felt worked best for my child and me. When I started listening to my gut and giving valid reasons why things couldn't work as suggested, we became more of a team and I became less fearful that the adoption wouldn't be finalized.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 101404, member: 3626"] Have you got anyone in the area who would trade free riding for helping with the horses? I used to do that at a local stable. Worked well for everyone? I got to ride gratis and I actually enjoyed dropping by in the morning and feeding the horses and then after work to muck out the stables and again feed them. In return, I could "borrow" one of the horses whenever I wanted. Now, I'm going to give you a simple piece of advice that is going to be very hard to follow: QUIT WORRYING ABOUT THE "PROFESSIONALS!" They are giving you advice, not orders. If they suggest routine, ask them how they would implement the routine. Try their way and the next time you see them simply state what worked in your household and what didn't. Ditto on suggestions to be consistent. And, yes, I'm willing to be you have basically done this before. Just keep doing it. I remember one meeting with my daughter's social worker and therapist. The social worker made a slew of impossible suggestions. When she was done, I looked at her and asked if she honestly expected me to follow them even a little? I told her I would be happy to try if she would be willing to come over and earn my living for me, clean my house, give me some me time and find me some time to breath. She dropped those ideas, came back two months later with a new game plan that was a little more manageable. It took about 4 years but the pros finally came to the conclusion I was doing the best I could with a very difficult little girl and actually started offering me some help rather than hindering me. However, part of the fault did lie with me -- I took their suggestions as orders and would jump through their hoops trying to make them happy rather than doing what I felt worked best for my child and me. When I started listening to my gut and giving valid reasons why things couldn't work as suggested, we became more of a team and I became less fearful that the adoption wouldn't be finalized. [/QUOTE]
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They sabotage orgainization & routine.
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