Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
They sabotage orgainization & routine.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 101745" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Okay, how much of difficult child's needs can be done in the evening? Can he sleep in his clothes? What happens if you simply give him time limits and when the time is over he goes on to the next task whether previous one is done or not? You and easy child deserve a life as well. Try to find ways to not let him rule the roost. As I said, for my daughter timers worked well. She could argue with me, but she couldn't argue with a beep-beep-beep. I wouldn't say a word, simply reset the timer for the next task and say how much time she had to do X. There was a chart on the wall with pictures showing what was needed to be done. I would simply tick off a task when the time was done, not whether the task was complete or not.</p><p></p><p>As to worrying about DCF, yup, and probably with more cause than you because it took 5 years for the adoption to be finalized because the courts were slow to terminate parental rights for my daughter. I had one social worker who would constantly threaten to remove my child if I didn't jump through her hoops. After listening to her for 3 months, I finally reminded her that my child had been in 4 foster homes before coming to me and in each of those the foster parents asked to have her removed because of behavior problems. At least I was getting her to be a little girl instead of an animal on two legs. Amazingly, that shut her up.</p><p></p><p>Also remember that the goal of the professionals is to help the family, not disrupt it. It is another thing if DCF is seriously involved -- for some social workers it is frequently easier to remove a child than believe the parents are doing everything humanly possible. So, try to get the pros to work FOR you (not with) you're the boss in this situation. You live with your children. You know what works best for them, for you, for your living standards. When they make unreasonable demands, simply ask them how you should implement them, advise where you see difficulties and ask for their suggestions in those regards. Don't give an automatic no -- that really sets the pros off. I used to say I would try and in fact did try their suggestions and then told them what parts worked and what parts didn't. It went a long way in getting us to be a team.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 101745, member: 3626"] Okay, how much of difficult child's needs can be done in the evening? Can he sleep in his clothes? What happens if you simply give him time limits and when the time is over he goes on to the next task whether previous one is done or not? You and easy child deserve a life as well. Try to find ways to not let him rule the roost. As I said, for my daughter timers worked well. She could argue with me, but she couldn't argue with a beep-beep-beep. I wouldn't say a word, simply reset the timer for the next task and say how much time she had to do X. There was a chart on the wall with pictures showing what was needed to be done. I would simply tick off a task when the time was done, not whether the task was complete or not. As to worrying about DCF, yup, and probably with more cause than you because it took 5 years for the adoption to be finalized because the courts were slow to terminate parental rights for my daughter. I had one social worker who would constantly threaten to remove my child if I didn't jump through her hoops. After listening to her for 3 months, I finally reminded her that my child had been in 4 foster homes before coming to me and in each of those the foster parents asked to have her removed because of behavior problems. At least I was getting her to be a little girl instead of an animal on two legs. Amazingly, that shut her up. Also remember that the goal of the professionals is to help the family, not disrupt it. It is another thing if DCF is seriously involved -- for some social workers it is frequently easier to remove a child than believe the parents are doing everything humanly possible. So, try to get the pros to work FOR you (not with) you're the boss in this situation. You live with your children. You know what works best for them, for you, for your living standards. When they make unreasonable demands, simply ask them how you should implement them, advise where you see difficulties and ask for their suggestions in those regards. Don't give an automatic no -- that really sets the pros off. I used to say I would try and in fact did try their suggestions and then told them what parts worked and what parts didn't. It went a long way in getting us to be a team. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
They sabotage orgainization & routine.
Top