Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
They took him!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 87781" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Welcome, Wombatina. You have a fine way with words.</p><p></p><p>Susan, as busywend mentioned, nobody is minimizing your pain. we are all validating it. But we are trying to show you how to detach, and more importantly, WHY it so important that you do so.</p><p></p><p>Here is another way of looking at it. You are in pain now, mental anguish over what your son has done. Detaching, while it is not easy, is the road to LESS pain over what he does. </p><p></p><p>You are on a merry go round that never stops. It goes around and around and around. Your son is running it. That symbolically is his drug use, his sense of entitlement, his theft, his in and out of jail, everything that stems from his addiction is that merry go round. YOU chose to get on the merry go round. And you are on it, yelling at him to stop, stop, stop. He does not want to stop. You come here, telling us that you are on this merry go round, and it hurts. What you are looking for is an answer as to how to make him stop.</p><p></p><p>THERE. IS. NO. ANSWER. YOU. CANNOT. MAKE. HIM. STOP.</p><p></p><p>You have to jump off the merry go round. Your pain will eventually stop because YOU ARE NO LONGER ON IT. Yo have to let him decide FOR HIMSELF if he chooses to keep the merry go round going or if he chooses to stop it. HE WILL NEVER STOP IT as long as you are on it with him. YOU HAVE GOT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE. That is symbolic for he will never get help for his addiction as long as you enable him. Calling his PO is enabling him. Being mad at the 15 yr old is enabling him. Taking him to the ER, or the dentist, or for oral surgery, or to the pharmacy for pain pills is enabling him. Taking collect calls from jail to listen to him tell you that it is your fault that he is there is enabling him. </p><p></p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p>HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM.</p><p></p><p>Instead of enabling him, go ahead and grieve. Like I said (and like busywend said), your feelings are valid. But don't let him suc.k you in. Addicts are masters at that. </p><p></p><p>I know. I was one. </p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 87781, member: 3647"] Welcome, Wombatina. You have a fine way with words. Susan, as busywend mentioned, nobody is minimizing your pain. we are all validating it. But we are trying to show you how to detach, and more importantly, WHY it so important that you do so. Here is another way of looking at it. You are in pain now, mental anguish over what your son has done. Detaching, while it is not easy, is the road to LESS pain over what he does. You are on a merry go round that never stops. It goes around and around and around. Your son is running it. That symbolically is his drug use, his sense of entitlement, his theft, his in and out of jail, everything that stems from his addiction is that merry go round. YOU chose to get on the merry go round. And you are on it, yelling at him to stop, stop, stop. He does not want to stop. You come here, telling us that you are on this merry go round, and it hurts. What you are looking for is an answer as to how to make him stop. THERE. IS. NO. ANSWER. YOU. CANNOT. MAKE. HIM. STOP. You have to jump off the merry go round. Your pain will eventually stop because YOU ARE NO LONGER ON IT. Yo have to let him decide FOR HIMSELF if he chooses to keep the merry go round going or if he chooses to stop it. HE WILL NEVER STOP IT as long as you are on it with him. YOU HAVE GOT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE. That is symbolic for he will never get help for his addiction as long as you enable him. Calling his PO is enabling him. Being mad at the 15 yr old is enabling him. Taking him to the ER, or the dentist, or for oral surgery, or to the pharmacy for pain pills is enabling him. Taking collect calls from jail to listen to him tell you that it is your fault that he is there is enabling him. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. HE WILL NOT GET HELP UNTIL YOU STOP ENABLING HIM. Instead of enabling him, go ahead and grieve. Like I said (and like busywend said), your feelings are valid. But don't let him suc.k you in. Addicts are masters at that. I know. I was one. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
They took him!
Top