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they took my son away
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 45978" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Another idea is to humble yourself and tell them, in a calm way, that you see they have good ideas and would they please help you? We found that they love compliance and they consider any negatives from you or even defending yourself as "being in denial" and "not cooperating." Although the allegations they are making are clearly bizarre, act as if you think they are valid and ask if your son can stay at home if you work very closely with them and do what they say to improve the situation. When you need to vent do it to your spouse or mother or somebody you trust completely. Drop the attitude, at least around them. THEY will have an attitude, and you have to eat it because THEY have the power. I agree that even attorneys can't always help. We had one the one time we got into social services trouble from a foster child. We were very lucky because the kid himself confessed to a crime that they would have hung on us, but, even after he did, we had to watch what we said/did. We also had to go for the most clueless, ignorant parenting classes on earth, but we had to pretend we thought they would help us. We had to kiss up to a social worker who'd never had a child and was young enough to be our daughter. As soon as we could gracefully untangle ourselves from social services we did, then we moved to another state and never got involved in foster care or adoption again. Foster parents are likely to be turned into CPS at least once a year, and some foster parents end up losing their children too. We felt we meant to do good, but it was too risky. The system is horrible. I feel so bad for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 45978, member: 1550"] Another idea is to humble yourself and tell them, in a calm way, that you see they have good ideas and would they please help you? We found that they love compliance and they consider any negatives from you or even defending yourself as "being in denial" and "not cooperating." Although the allegations they are making are clearly bizarre, act as if you think they are valid and ask if your son can stay at home if you work very closely with them and do what they say to improve the situation. When you need to vent do it to your spouse or mother or somebody you trust completely. Drop the attitude, at least around them. THEY will have an attitude, and you have to eat it because THEY have the power. I agree that even attorneys can't always help. We had one the one time we got into social services trouble from a foster child. We were very lucky because the kid himself confessed to a crime that they would have hung on us, but, even after he did, we had to watch what we said/did. We also had to go for the most clueless, ignorant parenting classes on earth, but we had to pretend we thought they would help us. We had to kiss up to a social worker who'd never had a child and was young enough to be our daughter. As soon as we could gracefully untangle ourselves from social services we did, then we moved to another state and never got involved in foster care or adoption again. Foster parents are likely to be turned into CPS at least once a year, and some foster parents end up losing their children too. We felt we meant to do good, but it was too risky. The system is horrible. I feel so bad for you. [/QUOTE]
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