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They're Off to Dayton FINALLY!
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 389442" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Since the kids have to have a "day basket" and a "night basket" for their things I'm pretty sure they have to leave the shelter during the day as well. Right now we're in a bit of a warm spell, but it's going to get mighty cold soon. And they're going to have to find somewhere to be during the day.......... So it's going to get <strong>much</strong> more uncomfortable before long.</p><p></p><p>I don't think katie is going to get that wake up call.........but you know us Moms, we can always manage to drum up hope even when our brains tell us it's a long shot it will happen. Fran I also think they're too old and too set into their pattern of living,. I have seen people their ages change..........but those were rare events over a lifetime. Which is why I have prepared husband for getting the grands.........because I'm afraid it's not going to be an IF situation but a When. </p><p></p><p>One. I know M has been abusive to kaite and the kids in the past. I have serious doubts that behavior has stopped other than temporary. </p><p>Two. I know Katie has been abusive to the kids in the past. Watching her under so much stress yesterday........ Yes, due to past behavior I've been watching for it. And I saw the danger signs yesterday evening. And I watched the kids response to it. I'm sad to see it. I'd hoped past behavior was due to her age at the time and inexperience with toddlers/infants.</p><p>Three. Katie is going to be attempting to parent 2 autistic boys with severe Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues in a room full of strangers with other children. I'm guessing it's going to push her to her utter limits.......as the kids also behave as abused kids.....meaning they don't respond until they have the parent on the verge of hitting them. (don't know how to describe this behavior, it's one I recognize from my own childhood and from other abused kids) Alex and Evan are both going to be over the top. I wonder if katie can hold it together. She nearly lost it last night.</p><p>Four. I know from Katie and M telling me.........they have a long record with CPS in Mo. Teachers, docs and the like have turned them in mult times and each time they squeaked out of losing the kids, just barely. I'm guessing by moving. Last time was right before they left Springfield......and may have been St Louis, but can't say for sure. I do know the school had turned her in to CPS due to Kayla still not having glasses so she can see (school nurse here says her vision is horrible, I know cuz she was so concerned she call ME, not katie) and other neglect /abuse issues. Aren't they bright for telling me this stuff?? sheesh</p><p></p><p>Also.........while I believe katie was clean and sober when she arrived........I suspect she's been using drugs during her stay in the motel. It's a haven for addicts....and pushers. And sorry but even those two I can't see managing to blow at least 600 dollars in 2 wks on food........especially when they had the food stamps........and they have not one thing to show for that cash except Evan's and Katie's birth certificates.......they never sent off for M's. Would explain the "migraines" and the long absences and turning off the phone so we couldn't call..... And Katie is losing weight big time even though she's eating like a horse.....literally enough for 3 people herself alone. My theory is she uses the "migraines" as an excuse to get M to buy the drugs........and he's so stupid he wouldn't bat an eye or even see it as wrong. She's made no effort at all to get her migraine medications filled....and she has the medical card. And while in the ER so "terribly" sick with a migraine.....they didn't give her anything worth a snot for the pain, simply told her they did. (pharm does come in handy) Yet she was magically all better the moment she found out biomom sent them 900 bucks. Yep bff gave me plenty of experience dealing with addicts.......I know the behavior well.</p><p></p><p>So when/if CPS here gets called they'll likely check with CPS in Mo, and that ought to seal it. The kids are flat broke. They won't be running again anytime soon.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Pathetic when they can't even figure out how to play the system. Janet you're so right. And so is Susie. In ohio it is next to impossible to get someone in trouble for welfare fraud. They simply just do not investigate. In our county......they just give you a blank stare. They only reported the shelter in Mo because it was an organization doing it. We've got so many people here milking the system it's not funny. Some have no choice, it's a do what you have to do situation.........others simply because drugs/booze is more important or they're just too lazy to find work. They learn how to work it quickly. While they may not get a welfare check each month they make sure they get anything and everything else available to them.</p><p></p><p>Kayla is very smart, thank goodness or she'd be in trouble, but it is beginning to affect her reading and spelling skills a bit........but she catches on fast which works in her favor. As for Alex......I think his dxes are dead on, but if he could stay somewhere long enough to get the help he needs there is some chance of him making a lot of progress, if not academically then with life skills. Evan.......I don't know. I can't tell how much of his issues are parental neglect at this point. Yesterday was the first time something "clicked" with him and he got it. Sounds terrible but it is the first glimpse I've had of him being able to learn anything academic at all, everything else has gone right over his head and all I get is a blank stare. Makes me so mad as a normal parent who sees their child below developmental norms would be working harder with the child to help them learn, not ignoring it and treating him like he's a year old. His speech is for the most part.......well you just can't understand 99 percent of what he says. It's not just me, his own parents don't understand him either, nor kayla or alex.</p><p></p><p>So...........</p><p></p><p>The family as a whole are having long discussions about Kayla Alex and Evan. We are forcing ourselves to face the reality that Katie and M will most likely be losing custody soon. We don't want them lost to the system after they have already suffered so much. So we're trying to look at all the alternatives and what would be best for each of the kids according to their needs. Of course keeping them together would be wonderful........but due to family dynamics (which is pretty horrid at this point) among the sibs.....we're not sure about keeping them together. Because whoever has all 3 are going to have their hands full. (which would be me as easy child can't take all 3 and Nichole won't either) Kayla has been forced to mother her brothers for years and been taught to treat them as if they're toddlers. Her brothers have been taught no respect for Kayla and have actually been taught by M that Kayla is a doormat and treat her as such. The boys think nothing of destroying her things, do so on a reg basis, and are not punished for it. She is told to svck it up. She's not even allowed to get mad. omg<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> Evan is allowed to be physically abusive to the entire family and nothing is done.........and yeah it's really bad. Alex is allowed to hit kayla and nothing is done.</p><p></p><p>easy child said she'd take Alex last night. He and Darrin are already thick as thieves. And other than pounding on Kayla and ruining her things........he truly is a mega sweetheart. I just wonder if easy child could handle his gfgness and the MRDD issues. I don't think it wise for Nichole to take any of the kids at this point. The only one she could handle is Kayla.......and I think Kayla may be a bit old for Nichole to take on at this point in her life. That would leave me with Kayla and Evan.......and man would I have to work on her not parenting him/treating him like an infant and him being violent ect toward her. I *think* he is young enough to turn that behavior around.</p><p></p><p>Oddly I do think the behavior taught to them by their parents in regard to each other can be turned around. During the week they were with us, I simply did not allow it, period. The my house my rules bit. And they did pretty well........unless M started his junk. They flourished under the household routine I established out of many years of habit. (I just do it automatically when kids are around) and they beamed the whole time they were here. </p><p></p><p>We're waiting for 2 scenarios : 1. CPS takes the kids or 2. they run back to Mo The latter I doubt as they have no cash........and I doubt either will find/get/look for work.......and biomom is now also broke again so won't be sending them more. Once the kids are out of their custody I look for katie to fall into major victim mode and do whatever it takes to escape and M to vanish as his meal ticket will be gone. Because both of them would be too busy playing victim to actually work the program to get them back............And of course all the blame would lay at my feet because they'd tell everyone all I ever wanted was custody of Kayla and Alex. *sigh*</p><p></p><p>I'm just so utterly disappointed in Katie I have no words for it. I hope. I don't think that will ever die. But I just don't believe.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 389442, member: 84"] Since the kids have to have a "day basket" and a "night basket" for their things I'm pretty sure they have to leave the shelter during the day as well. Right now we're in a bit of a warm spell, but it's going to get mighty cold soon. And they're going to have to find somewhere to be during the day.......... So it's going to get [B]much[/B] more uncomfortable before long. I don't think katie is going to get that wake up call.........but you know us Moms, we can always manage to drum up hope even when our brains tell us it's a long shot it will happen. Fran I also think they're too old and too set into their pattern of living,. I have seen people their ages change..........but those were rare events over a lifetime. Which is why I have prepared husband for getting the grands.........because I'm afraid it's not going to be an IF situation but a When. One. I know M has been abusive to kaite and the kids in the past. I have serious doubts that behavior has stopped other than temporary. Two. I know Katie has been abusive to the kids in the past. Watching her under so much stress yesterday........ Yes, due to past behavior I've been watching for it. And I saw the danger signs yesterday evening. And I watched the kids response to it. I'm sad to see it. I'd hoped past behavior was due to her age at the time and inexperience with toddlers/infants. Three. Katie is going to be attempting to parent 2 autistic boys with severe Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues in a room full of strangers with other children. I'm guessing it's going to push her to her utter limits.......as the kids also behave as abused kids.....meaning they don't respond until they have the parent on the verge of hitting them. (don't know how to describe this behavior, it's one I recognize from my own childhood and from other abused kids) Alex and Evan are both going to be over the top. I wonder if katie can hold it together. She nearly lost it last night. Four. I know from Katie and M telling me.........they have a long record with CPS in Mo. Teachers, docs and the like have turned them in mult times and each time they squeaked out of losing the kids, just barely. I'm guessing by moving. Last time was right before they left Springfield......and may have been St Louis, but can't say for sure. I do know the school had turned her in to CPS due to Kayla still not having glasses so she can see (school nurse here says her vision is horrible, I know cuz she was so concerned she call ME, not katie) and other neglect /abuse issues. Aren't they bright for telling me this stuff?? sheesh Also.........while I believe katie was clean and sober when she arrived........I suspect she's been using drugs during her stay in the motel. It's a haven for addicts....and pushers. And sorry but even those two I can't see managing to blow at least 600 dollars in 2 wks on food........especially when they had the food stamps........and they have not one thing to show for that cash except Evan's and Katie's birth certificates.......they never sent off for M's. Would explain the "migraines" and the long absences and turning off the phone so we couldn't call..... And Katie is losing weight big time even though she's eating like a horse.....literally enough for 3 people herself alone. My theory is she uses the "migraines" as an excuse to get M to buy the drugs........and he's so stupid he wouldn't bat an eye or even see it as wrong. She's made no effort at all to get her migraine medications filled....and she has the medical card. And while in the ER so "terribly" sick with a migraine.....they didn't give her anything worth a snot for the pain, simply told her they did. (pharm does come in handy) Yet she was magically all better the moment she found out biomom sent them 900 bucks. Yep bff gave me plenty of experience dealing with addicts.......I know the behavior well. So when/if CPS here gets called they'll likely check with CPS in Mo, and that ought to seal it. The kids are flat broke. They won't be running again anytime soon. Pathetic when they can't even figure out how to play the system. Janet you're so right. And so is Susie. In ohio it is next to impossible to get someone in trouble for welfare fraud. They simply just do not investigate. In our county......they just give you a blank stare. They only reported the shelter in Mo because it was an organization doing it. We've got so many people here milking the system it's not funny. Some have no choice, it's a do what you have to do situation.........others simply because drugs/booze is more important or they're just too lazy to find work. They learn how to work it quickly. While they may not get a welfare check each month they make sure they get anything and everything else available to them. Kayla is very smart, thank goodness or she'd be in trouble, but it is beginning to affect her reading and spelling skills a bit........but she catches on fast which works in her favor. As for Alex......I think his dxes are dead on, but if he could stay somewhere long enough to get the help he needs there is some chance of him making a lot of progress, if not academically then with life skills. Evan.......I don't know. I can't tell how much of his issues are parental neglect at this point. Yesterday was the first time something "clicked" with him and he got it. Sounds terrible but it is the first glimpse I've had of him being able to learn anything academic at all, everything else has gone right over his head and all I get is a blank stare. Makes me so mad as a normal parent who sees their child below developmental norms would be working harder with the child to help them learn, not ignoring it and treating him like he's a year old. His speech is for the most part.......well you just can't understand 99 percent of what he says. It's not just me, his own parents don't understand him either, nor kayla or alex. So........... The family as a whole are having long discussions about Kayla Alex and Evan. We are forcing ourselves to face the reality that Katie and M will most likely be losing custody soon. We don't want them lost to the system after they have already suffered so much. So we're trying to look at all the alternatives and what would be best for each of the kids according to their needs. Of course keeping them together would be wonderful........but due to family dynamics (which is pretty horrid at this point) among the sibs.....we're not sure about keeping them together. Because whoever has all 3 are going to have their hands full. (which would be me as easy child can't take all 3 and Nichole won't either) Kayla has been forced to mother her brothers for years and been taught to treat them as if they're toddlers. Her brothers have been taught no respect for Kayla and have actually been taught by M that Kayla is a doormat and treat her as such. The boys think nothing of destroying her things, do so on a reg basis, and are not punished for it. She is told to svck it up. She's not even allowed to get mad. omg:angry: Evan is allowed to be physically abusive to the entire family and nothing is done.........and yeah it's really bad. Alex is allowed to hit kayla and nothing is done. easy child said she'd take Alex last night. He and Darrin are already thick as thieves. And other than pounding on Kayla and ruining her things........he truly is a mega sweetheart. I just wonder if easy child could handle his gfgness and the MRDD issues. I don't think it wise for Nichole to take any of the kids at this point. The only one she could handle is Kayla.......and I think Kayla may be a bit old for Nichole to take on at this point in her life. That would leave me with Kayla and Evan.......and man would I have to work on her not parenting him/treating him like an infant and him being violent ect toward her. I *think* he is young enough to turn that behavior around. Oddly I do think the behavior taught to them by their parents in regard to each other can be turned around. During the week they were with us, I simply did not allow it, period. The my house my rules bit. And they did pretty well........unless M started his junk. They flourished under the household routine I established out of many years of habit. (I just do it automatically when kids are around) and they beamed the whole time they were here. We're waiting for 2 scenarios : 1. CPS takes the kids or 2. they run back to Mo The latter I doubt as they have no cash........and I doubt either will find/get/look for work.......and biomom is now also broke again so won't be sending them more. Once the kids are out of their custody I look for katie to fall into major victim mode and do whatever it takes to escape and M to vanish as his meal ticket will be gone. Because both of them would be too busy playing victim to actually work the program to get them back............And of course all the blame would lay at my feet because they'd tell everyone all I ever wanted was custody of Kayla and Alex. *sigh* I'm just so utterly disappointed in Katie I have no words for it. I hope. I don't think that will ever die. But I just don't believe.:frowny::frowny: [/QUOTE]
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