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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 376636" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Success! Of course! Once you modify your expectations and redefine 'success'. Will my difficult child be a doctor? Nope! Will she ever get a college education? I have no idea - but as long as she is a law-abiding, tax paying citizen I am happy. </p><p> </p><p>We struggled for many years with the ODD aspect of my difficult child. In fact, it is just this year that I TRULY see a HUGE change in her. She has grown up. My mom always said she marches to the beat of a different drummer. And she is right. And it is OK. So, I had to give up dreams of the way I would parent, the report cards my child would bring home, the awards she would receive. Or even the simple 'student of the week' certificate in the younger years. Nope - never got that one either. </p><p> </p><p>What did I get? I young woman that has changed my life forever. I am a more patient (even though I thought I had none) person today. I am more forgiving and NOT judgemental at all. I am more compassionate than the average person. Not only have I bettered myself through this journey, but my daughter made it. She graduated, works part time and is moving out this week with 2 room mates. She will continue to learn through life happening around her. That is how she learns best. Not from a parent. From life. It is OK if she makes mistakes, she learns from them. </p><p> </p><p>My best advice is to be sure to keep your own identity through this journey and get time away from the chaos.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 376636, member: 391"] Success! Of course! Once you modify your expectations and redefine 'success'. Will my difficult child be a doctor? Nope! Will she ever get a college education? I have no idea - but as long as she is a law-abiding, tax paying citizen I am happy. We struggled for many years with the ODD aspect of my difficult child. In fact, it is just this year that I TRULY see a HUGE change in her. She has grown up. My mom always said she marches to the beat of a different drummer. And she is right. And it is OK. So, I had to give up dreams of the way I would parent, the report cards my child would bring home, the awards she would receive. Or even the simple 'student of the week' certificate in the younger years. Nope - never got that one either. What did I get? I young woman that has changed my life forever. I am a more patient (even though I thought I had none) person today. I am more forgiving and NOT judgemental at all. I am more compassionate than the average person. Not only have I bettered myself through this journey, but my daughter made it. She graduated, works part time and is moving out this week with 2 room mates. She will continue to learn through life happening around her. That is how she learns best. Not from a parent. From life. It is OK if she makes mistakes, she learns from them. My best advice is to be sure to keep your own identity through this journey and get time away from the chaos. [/QUOTE]
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