Think of us tomorrow....

[toughlovin]

Hi all,

Well tomorrow is my sons court date. A lot has happened in the last 2 weeks while he has been in jail. A week ago we had a very tough conversation with him where we told him he could not come home until he has gone to treatment.

I did a lot of looking around and found what looks like a great program for him in Florida. Although he did not admit to doing anything other than pot he did agree to go. Tonight he admitted to us that he has done quite a bit more than pot and admits drugs have caused him major prolbmes, although has not had withdrawals and so is not really addicted. (In his mind, I know he is emotionally addicted at least).

Anyway he has agreed to go to the rehab program.

Now the only question is will the judge let him out of jail to go. I am really really hoping so. It is the only thing that makes sense right now.

I will say that going to jail for 2 weeks might prove to be the best thing that has ever happened to him. We shall see if this is the turning point for him.

 

[Nancy]

This is really good news. I'm so glad he agreed to go and that he is being honest about his use. Through his treatment you find find out even more that you didn;t know and you will ask yourself how you could have been so blind. Our difficult child hid so much and I thought I was the queen of snooping. She tells me more stuff every day. I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to share and I think the more skeletons that are out of the closet the better, but it still amazes me that so much happened under my nose.

Pm me and tell me which program this is. Since we've been through it I'm interested in what programs are out there. difficult child is still in her IOP and I am still very impressed with how seriously they take sobriety and how they don't just cut them lose at the end of treatment but continue to provide aftercare for years to come.

I feel a special bond with you and really want to know how this turns out. I will be thinking about you today in court. The judge would be crazy not to go for this plan.

Nancy

 

[slsh]

Keeping fingers crossed that judge will go along with- the plan. Glad difficult child is being receptive. Such hard lessons some of our kids have to learn.

Many hugs to you!

 

[Nancy]

Anxious to hear the update.

Nancy

 

[toughlovin]

Thanks all for your thoughts. Nancy I feel a connection to you too, it helps a lot to know others who really understand what we are going through. So from my point of view court went really well yesterday. I feel in this case the legal system really worked. So our son plead guilty to two counts and got a suspended sentance. He is ordered into a 90 day drug treatment and has to follow any follow on recommendations. He is on probation for 2 years and will have random drug screens. So we flew him down last night to this great treatment place and checked him in. My feeling to be honest is that 2 weeks in jail might have been the best thing to ever have happened to him. If he screws up again he could spend 18 months in jail and he really really does not want that. If ever there was external motivation this is it. And the nice thing is it is not on us.

So here is a case where tough love, letting them screw up, letting them face the consequences (not that we could have bailed him out anyway) worked. I mean we don't know yet if it will work long term, he may end up in jail again, but we and the system are definnitely giving him his best shot at turning things around. And he did not like jail enough that I think he has done some serious thinking and wants to turn things around.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

That is really, really great news!! I am praying for difficult child's day in court and I pray she, too, will be sentenced to treatment since she won't go on her own.

 

[Nancy]

That really is very good news. I actually feel excited for you. I remember the day we brought difficult child to treatment, I felt like it was a new beginning, the first time in her lifetime that she could really get the kind of help she needs. I pray that is what it is for your son. It is a new beginning for the entire family. You have a lot of work to do while he's gone too, I was exhausted by the time she got out. But it's the kind of work that can bring your family together again.

I'll be looking foeard to updates on his program. We had a good family day in IOP today.

Nancy

 

[DDD]

We did three Florida programs. The 2nd one was the best one...unfortunately he got kicked out! Crossing fingers that you found the right one for your son. DDD

 

[toughlovin]

a couple thoughts....does your difficult child have a lawyer? I would suggest looking into treatment programs and talking to them. If you have one picked out and know they will accept her that helps a lot. Give this information to her lawyer. Of course the lawyer is working for her so if the court won't hold her and she doesn't want treatment there is not a lot you can do.

In our case my son racked up a slewnof stupid petty charges. They kept telling him if you get in trouble you could go to jail. He did not take them seriously because he kept getting in trouble and they did not send him to jail. Then they did. Finally. Huge wake up call and he was willing to go to treatment to get out of jail. That is a good starting point.

Good luck. Hope the court system works for you.

 

[gottaloveem]

I'm so happy for you, your son, and family that he is in a drug treatment center. Crossing all body parts he does well in treatment.

Love,
Lia