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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 598203" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>Liahona- sort of. I mean I never know when it's going to happen but it isn't like it happens all the time or every time. </p><p>His doctor believes its very manageable with medication and from what I've observed that's true. I was happy with the medication combo before they added the abilify and cut the seraquil. Husband just hates being groggy and going to sleep early which I know does suck for him because he gets up between 5:30 am and 6 to get to work by 6:30 am. He's in bed normally around nine because of the seraquil. But honestly i'd rather him go to bed early then have stressful relations with him. I also think the abilify has killed his ambition to get off the couch. I haven't spoken to the therapist since he started weening off of the seraquil and put him on the abilify. </p><p></p><p>As for the separation thing.</p><p>Well he's not out of the army yet right now according to the state of colorado we make too much to receive assistance like head start(free day care) a one bedroom apartment where I live is about 700.00 a month.</p><p></p><p>We aren't going to stay here in colorado but I don't know how long we are stuck here for. It would cost a fortune for me to move my own household goods to Oklahoma the army won't move it till he gets orders to leave the army. </p><p></p><p>We don't know what kind of t doctor he will have in the va yet. They have mental health programs in Tulsa that will allow him to be provided services on a sliding scale depending on our income and at a minimum the va will cover his medications. So I'm not too sure how it will all work out but I think it will work out that he can receive care.</p><p></p><p>I really think if I left he would lapse into regression he would probably drink or go completely off his medications, possibly get in some serious koi with his command maybe worse maybe not. I feel very strongly that mr. Lewis and to some extent I are the reason he gets up every day and fights it. He is very frightened of me leaving, he would not see a separation as temporary, he would be very convinced that I was going to divorce him no matter what. </p><p></p><p>He was married for 3 years to someone who refused to live with him, would not consider moving from their home town because her drug connections and family were in their home town resulting in him having next to no relationship with his children. </p><p>I was separated in my last marriage and it produced positive results, so I am not knocking it, a separation can save or extend a marriage in the right circumstances. I just don't think these are the right circumstances. It kind of needs to be an all or nothing kind of deal, if I left I would have to be able to accept that not only would my marriage would be over but my husband might not ever really be the same again and my son would likely not have a relationship with his dad who really does love him and worships the ground her crawls on. </p><p></p><p>Writing that out has helped me reach a decision. I can't leave not yet. I am going to have to work this situation and find a acceptable solution because I really can't accept that I would maybe never speak to him again or that he may never be the same. </p><p></p><p>I think I need to work on co dependency and talk to his therapist. </p><p></p><p>I appreciate you talking to me and I am taking everything everyone said under advisement md it's really helped to get my mind wrapped around the choices and likely out comes of each of these choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 598203, member: 16184"] Liahona- sort of. I mean I never know when it's going to happen but it isn't like it happens all the time or every time. His doctor believes its very manageable with medication and from what I've observed that's true. I was happy with the medication combo before they added the abilify and cut the seraquil. Husband just hates being groggy and going to sleep early which I know does suck for him because he gets up between 5:30 am and 6 to get to work by 6:30 am. He's in bed normally around nine because of the seraquil. But honestly i'd rather him go to bed early then have stressful relations with him. I also think the abilify has killed his ambition to get off the couch. I haven't spoken to the therapist since he started weening off of the seraquil and put him on the abilify. As for the separation thing. Well he's not out of the army yet right now according to the state of colorado we make too much to receive assistance like head start(free day care) a one bedroom apartment where I live is about 700.00 a month. We aren't going to stay here in colorado but I don't know how long we are stuck here for. It would cost a fortune for me to move my own household goods to Oklahoma the army won't move it till he gets orders to leave the army. We don't know what kind of t doctor he will have in the va yet. They have mental health programs in Tulsa that will allow him to be provided services on a sliding scale depending on our income and at a minimum the va will cover his medications. So I'm not too sure how it will all work out but I think it will work out that he can receive care. I really think if I left he would lapse into regression he would probably drink or go completely off his medications, possibly get in some serious koi with his command maybe worse maybe not. I feel very strongly that mr. Lewis and to some extent I are the reason he gets up every day and fights it. He is very frightened of me leaving, he would not see a separation as temporary, he would be very convinced that I was going to divorce him no matter what. He was married for 3 years to someone who refused to live with him, would not consider moving from their home town because her drug connections and family were in their home town resulting in him having next to no relationship with his children. I was separated in my last marriage and it produced positive results, so I am not knocking it, a separation can save or extend a marriage in the right circumstances. I just don't think these are the right circumstances. It kind of needs to be an all or nothing kind of deal, if I left I would have to be able to accept that not only would my marriage would be over but my husband might not ever really be the same again and my son would likely not have a relationship with his dad who really does love him and worships the ground her crawls on. Writing that out has helped me reach a decision. I can't leave not yet. I am going to have to work this situation and find a acceptable solution because I really can't accept that I would maybe never speak to him again or that he may never be the same. I think I need to work on co dependency and talk to his therapist. I appreciate you talking to me and I am taking everything everyone said under advisement md it's really helped to get my mind wrapped around the choices and likely out comes of each of these choices. [/QUOTE]
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