BG, this sounds like a whole bunch of manipulation to me. I know they can sound so sincere when they are sometimes talking. I know that. It gets us confused. Maybe they DO REALLY MEAN what they are saying THIS TIME? Maybe this time they are really being honest. We can drive ourselves nuts with this parsing of their every word. But BG, this is bs. He is doing what he has always done. Yes probation is hard. My son is on two levels of probation right now and it's hard. Well, that's too bad. You created this mess, and either you will deal with it or you will be back there. What is harder? Being in jail or dealing with probation. I have no sympathy for this.
Yes it most certainly does. I think your response to him was right on the money (your gallows humor). Yep, that's tough. I hope you don't either. Your choice, son.
This is detachment with love. It feels empty. It is not punitive or mean. It is flat. It is almost like nothing. It is a distance between you and him, this young man that you ache so much for something GOOD for. It is up to him and no one else, BG. Keep your distance so you can stay okay.
He is allowing his disease to rule him. That is HIS CHOICE. Not prison or probation or homelessness or no job or running or the police or being hungry. He/your son/my son are allowing their disease to be in charge. Until they decide they don't want their disease to be in charge, this is the way it will be.
Yes. Absolutely yes. This is so not about you. This has nothing to do with you. The constant calls and Oh Mom this and that, that is truly heaping abuse on us.
The very clear answer is already there. They know what it is. They just don't want to do it.
This has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with you. He's not doing this to you. He is doing it to himself, and he's calling you to get your sympathy for it all.
Create some distance, BG. Let the fire burn out. Take care of you. That is truly, finally, the only power you really have. And it is so very hard to do all of this. Believe me, I know how hard it is.
Warm hugs for you and for all of us. Let's stop and give ourselves a BIG HUG, right now. We deserve medals.
