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Parent Emeritus
This is probably the better spot - and L
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 300276"><p>Janet, with all due respect, I don't totally believe in unconditional love. I do believe totally in removing ourselves from toxic relationships and do believe that parents have an obligation to be loving and caring to their children. Parents and children enjoy a special bond and a special relationship. Surely, there is more leeway and tons of forgiveness when things go wrong. And perhaps parents should love their young children unconditionally (I need to think about this). But things, surely do change when everyone in the picture is an adult. Special efforts should be made to preserve the parent-child relationship. All out efforts should be made. I also believe that we should always have a positive regard for fellow human being...and this also includes family. And like I said, family should actually be considered special...more efforts should be made. HOWEVER, I don't really see it as "unconditional." Example, mom tied you up in the basement for years and tortured you, well, you don't have to love mom anymore. And likewise, if you put mom in the basement and tortured her for years, mom doesn't have to love you anymore. A possible exception might be if the perpetrator rehabilitated and genuinely was forgiving and showed signs/actions of love down the road. However, this is only a possibility. Surely, "love" is a an action verb. I personally, don't see it as totally unconditional...even with our mother's and father's. Not even with our children. I think children have more leeway, but they need to show respect to their parents and it also goes the other way around. When these situations are badly broken, are toxic for years, no efforts are made to genuinely make a correction...it is possible that all bets are off. So, I think we have a right to expect our parents to love us and care for us and for us to respect them and more than likely, we will love them right back. If they (parents) are having difficulties for whatever reason, being loving and caring human beings, it is their responsibility to seek mental health guidance. If they don't do this, well, we have a right view them as something less than parents...perhaps more like distant relatives. Perhaps, it is just a matter of semantics...re: the word "unconditional."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 300276"] Janet, with all due respect, I don't totally believe in unconditional love. I do believe totally in removing ourselves from toxic relationships and do believe that parents have an obligation to be loving and caring to their children. Parents and children enjoy a special bond and a special relationship. Surely, there is more leeway and tons of forgiveness when things go wrong. And perhaps parents should love their young children unconditionally (I need to think about this). But things, surely do change when everyone in the picture is an adult. Special efforts should be made to preserve the parent-child relationship. All out efforts should be made. I also believe that we should always have a positive regard for fellow human being...and this also includes family. And like I said, family should actually be considered special...more efforts should be made. HOWEVER, I don't really see it as "unconditional." Example, mom tied you up in the basement for years and tortured you, well, you don't have to love mom anymore. And likewise, if you put mom in the basement and tortured her for years, mom doesn't have to love you anymore. A possible exception might be if the perpetrator rehabilitated and genuinely was forgiving and showed signs/actions of love down the road. However, this is only a possibility. Surely, "love" is a an action verb. I personally, don't see it as totally unconditional...even with our mother's and father's. Not even with our children. I think children have more leeway, but they need to show respect to their parents and it also goes the other way around. When these situations are badly broken, are toxic for years, no efforts are made to genuinely make a correction...it is possible that all bets are off. So, I think we have a right to expect our parents to love us and care for us and for us to respect them and more than likely, we will love them right back. If they (parents) are having difficulties for whatever reason, being loving and caring human beings, it is their responsibility to seek mental health guidance. If they don't do this, well, we have a right view them as something less than parents...perhaps more like distant relatives. Perhaps, it is just a matter of semantics...re: the word "unconditional." [/QUOTE]
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