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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 524928" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>His guidance counsellor and the psychiatric nurse on the crisis hotline agreed with all of you. They both said he sounds like he is playing games and adding a guilt trip in. </p><p></p><p>His guidance counsellor again stated that I needed to consider mental health issues with difficult child. I agree - I am just not sure how far I want to take that at this point. I have found out that I might be able to get a Form 2 - a court order to have him picked up by police and forced to hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. The problem with that is he could be out within an hour, depending on how he handles himself. I'm going to wait on this for a couple of weekends - he is already pretty mad at me right now and also, he has said he hasn't 'cut' in a month or more so I might not be able to get him picked up at this point. </p><p></p><p>So, on the advise of his guidance counsellor I called his girlfriends father last night and told him that difficult child has said he's been cutting and that I know for a fact he is carrying a pocketknife. He confronted difficult child and difficult child said he hasn't cut in over a month - strange, don't you think? Given that he left home 2 weeks ago and his life was in crisis the couple of weeks prior to that? I have seen him shirtless on countless occasions and never seen any marks on him. And I saw his legs about a month ago - no cut marks. So, guess he's not really cutting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking this lightly. I have contacted everyone that needs to be contacted but I am also thinking realistically here. Cutting yourself with a guitar pick or a key or a ruler is not someone that is serious about hurting themselves. But it can escalate so I will keep on top of it. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, difficult child was pretty mad that I called girlfriends dad. He called me and gave me **** for that. Again I offered him the option of counselling (I emailed him earlier yesterday and offered him an appointment that I had set up on Wednesday and he turned me down). I told him that he needed to develop some coping skills to learn to deal with life's problems so that he didn't feel the need to harm himself. His response was that nothing in his future could ever be as bad as the abuse he had suffered at our hands. I didn't take the bait. </p><p></p><p>Then I said that even though I disagree with him on the abuse issue that if he feels he has been abused he should definitely take the counselling to deal with his feelings around that. He said, no, that if I would just grow some ba((s and admit that I had abused him all of his problems would be solved. He didn't need counselling. </p><p></p><p>At that point I let him know that I was no longer willing to discuss this topic with him unless it was in front of a counsellor. I told him that there were plenty of other things we could talk about that didn't involved this problem so that we could still maintain a relationship with each other. He hung up on me. </p><p></p><p>So, I emailed him and let him know that the offer of counselling still stands and I will let him know when the appointments are and/or he can let me know when he would like to go and I would make an appointment for him. I got a very different (in tone) email back from him saying sorry, he couldn't go this Wednesday, he had a field trip. Maybe some other time. </p><p></p><p>I feel like emailing him back and saying "Oh right, I remember paying for that field trip! Have fun!" </p><p></p><p>If he keeps this nonsense up the girlfriends parents are going to see the light and ask him to leave. Maybe the girlfriend will see the light too and realize that she doesn't want to be involved in this. </p><p></p><p>My worst fear for him right now is that he does manage to get student welfare, gets a room in some hole in the wall, girlfriend dumps him and he is going home alone to a crummy place with no girlfriend. That sounds very lonely and depressing and I would worry that he might become suicidal if that happened. I can only keep the lines of communication open as best I can and hope that he has the wits to come to us when he gets to that point. </p><p></p><p>I think he is going to purse the student welfare option until it is exhausted so I think my best bet right now is to let things lie, communicate with him on superficial topics and wait him out. </p><p></p><p>One of my friends is taking me out for lunch and boy do I need the break! Going to take a deep breath and recharge for the next round.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 524928, member: 14356"] His guidance counsellor and the psychiatric nurse on the crisis hotline agreed with all of you. They both said he sounds like he is playing games and adding a guilt trip in. His guidance counsellor again stated that I needed to consider mental health issues with difficult child. I agree - I am just not sure how far I want to take that at this point. I have found out that I might be able to get a Form 2 - a court order to have him picked up by police and forced to hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. The problem with that is he could be out within an hour, depending on how he handles himself. I'm going to wait on this for a couple of weekends - he is already pretty mad at me right now and also, he has said he hasn't 'cut' in a month or more so I might not be able to get him picked up at this point. So, on the advise of his guidance counsellor I called his girlfriends father last night and told him that difficult child has said he's been cutting and that I know for a fact he is carrying a pocketknife. He confronted difficult child and difficult child said he hasn't cut in over a month - strange, don't you think? Given that he left home 2 weeks ago and his life was in crisis the couple of weeks prior to that? I have seen him shirtless on countless occasions and never seen any marks on him. And I saw his legs about a month ago - no cut marks. So, guess he's not really cutting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking this lightly. I have contacted everyone that needs to be contacted but I am also thinking realistically here. Cutting yourself with a guitar pick or a key or a ruler is not someone that is serious about hurting themselves. But it can escalate so I will keep on top of it. Anyway, difficult child was pretty mad that I called girlfriends dad. He called me and gave me **** for that. Again I offered him the option of counselling (I emailed him earlier yesterday and offered him an appointment that I had set up on Wednesday and he turned me down). I told him that he needed to develop some coping skills to learn to deal with life's problems so that he didn't feel the need to harm himself. His response was that nothing in his future could ever be as bad as the abuse he had suffered at our hands. I didn't take the bait. Then I said that even though I disagree with him on the abuse issue that if he feels he has been abused he should definitely take the counselling to deal with his feelings around that. He said, no, that if I would just grow some ba((s and admit that I had abused him all of his problems would be solved. He didn't need counselling. At that point I let him know that I was no longer willing to discuss this topic with him unless it was in front of a counsellor. I told him that there were plenty of other things we could talk about that didn't involved this problem so that we could still maintain a relationship with each other. He hung up on me. So, I emailed him and let him know that the offer of counselling still stands and I will let him know when the appointments are and/or he can let me know when he would like to go and I would make an appointment for him. I got a very different (in tone) email back from him saying sorry, he couldn't go this Wednesday, he had a field trip. Maybe some other time. I feel like emailing him back and saying "Oh right, I remember paying for that field trip! Have fun!" If he keeps this nonsense up the girlfriends parents are going to see the light and ask him to leave. Maybe the girlfriend will see the light too and realize that she doesn't want to be involved in this. My worst fear for him right now is that he does manage to get student welfare, gets a room in some hole in the wall, girlfriend dumps him and he is going home alone to a crummy place with no girlfriend. That sounds very lonely and depressing and I would worry that he might become suicidal if that happened. I can only keep the lines of communication open as best I can and hope that he has the wits to come to us when he gets to that point. I think he is going to purse the student welfare option until it is exhausted so I think my best bet right now is to let things lie, communicate with him on superficial topics and wait him out. One of my friends is taking me out for lunch and boy do I need the break! Going to take a deep breath and recharge for the next round. [/QUOTE]
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