I was doing my daily research on my son, crying to myself that I was so alone in this battle, when I stumbled upon this website. You know that feeling you get when you find a lost $20 in an old pair of pants on a day when you're absolutely needing it? That's the feeling I had when I realized what this website was. My son has taken over every aspect of my life. Sometimes I think I am here only for him. Don't get me wrong- I love him and the others more than anything. It's just that not a day goes by that some kind of crisis erupts with him in the middle. And when I'm not in the middle of a crisis, I'm researching him. Books, internet, pamphlets, brochures- anything to help him and me. When my son was about 3 years old, I noticed a change. He wasn't the sweet little baby that I cuddled every day. The preschool/daycare teacher began to complain- he's acting out, he's violent, he doesn't listen. She began restraining him on a daily basis. I would walk in many times to find her on the floor, arms and legs wrapped around him. The director agreed with her- he was a bad boy. I took him to counseling. They said the problem was the preschool. I told the director what she said- she kicked him out. Said he was a danger to all around him and they just couldn't help him anymore. Flash forward a few years. He is now five. He "rages out" then passes out for up to 3 hours a day. First day of Kindergarten arrives and he's suspended for the next 5 days. I take him to counselors and psychiatrists- it's all behavioral they say. ADHD is thrown to me. ODD is thrown to me- so starts his life on medications. The school calls me EVERY SINGLE DAY to come pick him up. I leave work/school. He's passed out on tables, chairs, the lunch line, the nurse's cot, the hallway. I scoop him up off the floor/cot/chair/table and take him home. He wets the bed every night. I awaken to find him next to me in what seems like convulsions. I research, I go back to the psychiatrists. Is it seizures? I ask. No,no. It's behavior- here's more medications. The following year school says- we can't take it anymore, here's a school that can. They pass him to another school and put him in Special Education. EVERYDAY-come get your son, he's violent, he's passed out. I leave work/school. I request an IEP. Things calm down. No phone calls for a week. Then phone calls start again. I leave old doctors and find new. Is it seizures? I ask them. *test,test,test* Yes, it's seizures. Hooray! It's a start! I research. What kind? I ask. You, know, seizures they say-then nothing else. When are they happening? before he sleeps? after he sleeps? while he's sleeping? are they twitches/shakes/stares/convulsions/rages? They say, you know, they're seizures. I go through this for 3 years. Researching everyday. Flash forward a few years. My son is currently 9 years old. His IQ is pretty high, but he's in Special Education. He has a personal assistant who is SUPPOSED TO help him through school. They call me every other day. They wait in the doorway and jump on me like vultures when I pick him up- Your son did this, your son did that. He is suspended EVERY SINGLE WEEK now, so he only goes to school 2-3 times a week. He has an intensive inhome based therapist that sees him 3-4 times a week at home and at school for 1 1/2 hours a day. The school begs me to move him to "special schools" that I can't afford. I found a new doctor. He ordered MRI's, sleep studies, walking EEG's. Still waiting for results. Still I research. I cry every day. I fear the telephone. My job tells me to do something about it or I'm gonna lose it. At least now I know that I'm not alone.