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This must be how it feel to split with- reality
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 198865" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I do remember those lost days when my daughter was at her Residential Treatment Center (RTC), especially in the beginning and on holidays. You're right, you do feel disconnected -- the person you've been struggling to save is now being "saved" by someone else (at least that's your hope). </p><p> </p><p>Where my daughter was, there was no communication between us for the first month. I did force her counselor to keep me informed. I was so lost. I would sit on her bed and hold her favorite stuffie and just sob into it. Night after night. After one month, it was one 5 minute phone call a week and then only if she'd earned it. She was supposed to write me weekly but never did. I did write her daily. One visit a month, if earned. It almost killed me. The only way I got through it was to remind myself that she needed more help than I could give her. I was doing this to save her from herself. That's what you're doing for Matt.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know how to help you separate your fears of M and H. I don't think any of us can. You're going to need a good grief therapst to help with that. Sadly, your emotions were still too raw from H's death to really cope with the separation from M. Single parenthood can really bite -- we're just too connected to our kids!</p><p> </p><p>As to your job, you're right. Right now is not the time to quit. Starting over is not as easy as it once was. People aren't leaving their jobs -- at least not those that pay a living wage. So, moving to a new city and getting a job really is pretty difficult in these economic times. Look hard for a new job but grit your teeth and stick with this one until you find a new one.</p><p> </p><p>HUGS!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 198865, member: 3626"] I do remember those lost days when my daughter was at her Residential Treatment Center (RTC), especially in the beginning and on holidays. You're right, you do feel disconnected -- the person you've been struggling to save is now being "saved" by someone else (at least that's your hope). Where my daughter was, there was no communication between us for the first month. I did force her counselor to keep me informed. I was so lost. I would sit on her bed and hold her favorite stuffie and just sob into it. Night after night. After one month, it was one 5 minute phone call a week and then only if she'd earned it. She was supposed to write me weekly but never did. I did write her daily. One visit a month, if earned. It almost killed me. The only way I got through it was to remind myself that she needed more help than I could give her. I was doing this to save her from herself. That's what you're doing for Matt. I don't know how to help you separate your fears of M and H. I don't think any of us can. You're going to need a good grief therapst to help with that. Sadly, your emotions were still too raw from H's death to really cope with the separation from M. Single parenthood can really bite -- we're just too connected to our kids! As to your job, you're right. Right now is not the time to quit. Starting over is not as easy as it once was. People aren't leaving their jobs -- at least not those that pay a living wage. So, moving to a new city and getting a job really is pretty difficult in these economic times. Look hard for a new job but grit your teeth and stick with this one until you find a new one. HUGS! [/QUOTE]
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