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Thoroughly Frustrated!
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 357683" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Just one small suggestion to a very very large problem. You mentioned that she is manipulative. There is a book titled, "The Manipulative Child". I love love love it. I read it a couple years ago and wish I had it when DIVA was about 5. I my opinion, it is targeted to start the steps to manage the manipulation when the child is about 7 - 8 years old but the suggestions can be implemented at any age. What it did for me was to give me confidence to recognize the manipulation and strength to keep from falling into it. I did use the suggestion on my very disrespectful Diva when she was an older teen.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child has a friend who is becoming very manipulative of his mother. I had an incident with him that I specifically told him NOT to tell his mother that I was o.k. with something. So, he turned it around and asked his mom, "If Andy says it is o.k., can we get this?" I confronted him on it and asked him why he did that. I explained that what he did was still what I specifically told him NOT to do. It was his mom's duty to give the answer she wanted without my interferring (I had not told him I was o.k. with it, by the way). He answered that he knew that was the quickest way to get what HE wanted. That is the bottom line of manipulation. The kid has figured out which buttons (and in which order) to push to get what he/she wants.</p><p> </p><p>This book will show you how not to fall into that trap. It is hard work to stay strong and not give in out of habit, frustration, ect. but once you know what you want the outcome to be, it will be easier to stand your ground.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 357683, member: 5096"] Just one small suggestion to a very very large problem. You mentioned that she is manipulative. There is a book titled, "The Manipulative Child". I love love love it. I read it a couple years ago and wish I had it when DIVA was about 5. I my opinion, it is targeted to start the steps to manage the manipulation when the child is about 7 - 8 years old but the suggestions can be implemented at any age. What it did for me was to give me confidence to recognize the manipulation and strength to keep from falling into it. I did use the suggestion on my very disrespectful Diva when she was an older teen. difficult child has a friend who is becoming very manipulative of his mother. I had an incident with him that I specifically told him NOT to tell his mother that I was o.k. with something. So, he turned it around and asked his mom, "If Andy says it is o.k., can we get this?" I confronted him on it and asked him why he did that. I explained that what he did was still what I specifically told him NOT to do. It was his mom's duty to give the answer she wanted without my interferring (I had not told him I was o.k. with it, by the way). He answered that he knew that was the quickest way to get what HE wanted. That is the bottom line of manipulation. The kid has figured out which buttons (and in which order) to push to get what he/she wants. This book will show you how not to fall into that trap. It is hard work to stay strong and not give in out of habit, frustration, ect. but once you know what you want the outcome to be, it will be easier to stand your ground. [/QUOTE]
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