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Those of us with- narcissistic parents- do you attract narcissist friends?
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<blockquote data-quote="svengandhi" data-source="post: 550959" data-attributes="member: 3493"><p>My dad was a narcissist. The only person who ever mattered to him was my mom because she totally sublimated herself to him, most likely because of her own issues. It must have been tough to know that her mother never wanted her and got pregnant only because the doctors told it was the best way to get rid of fibroids (this was in the 1920's) and that her baby would be born dead. The doctors were half right - my mom had a stillborn twin. Anyway, she was perfect prey for a charming narcissist like my dad. My sister and I were afterthoughts, accessories acquired because in the 50's, everybody had kids and very few people were childless by choice (other than all of my dad's 4 siblings!). My aunt, his older sister, who is 91, has enlightened me recently on how much my dad was favored by their mom. In the Depression, the other children went hungry while Grandma lavished all on my dad. Grandma chose me in the next generation but my basic personality is not narcissistic.</p><p></p><p>I swore that I would never marry a man like my dad so I chose a husband who is a different religion, ethnic background, has different hobbies, etc. The only thing they have in common is their political affiliation because I could never marry a man from the other party. I chose wrong - my H is not a full blown narcissist but he has many of the traits. </p><p></p><p>The one trait that my dad had that my H lacks is faithfulness to the wife. </p><p></p><p>I realized in marriage counseling after my H's cheating bout that all of my boyfriends were NPD to some degree. If I ever get around to dumping H, I'll never marry again because I seem to be drawn to NPD types. I'd rather be alone than go through it again.</p><p></p><p>The one good thing is that i don't seem to have raised any narcissists. Oldest boy was on his way there but it was because of mother in law. She did it to H - treated him like the living incarnation of G-d and ignored her D, who is now a useless, worthless, substance addled 60 year old who is financially dependent on her mommy. She tried to do it to my son, but I actually managed to convince H that we couldn't let it happen. H told mother in law to take her money and shove it when she said she wanted to leave it to oldest boy and ignore the other 4 kids. I will give H props for being a good parent, which is why I'm still with him.</p><p></p><p>Other than men, I do seem to have steered clear of narcissists in my life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="svengandhi, post: 550959, member: 3493"] My dad was a narcissist. The only person who ever mattered to him was my mom because she totally sublimated herself to him, most likely because of her own issues. It must have been tough to know that her mother never wanted her and got pregnant only because the doctors told it was the best way to get rid of fibroids (this was in the 1920's) and that her baby would be born dead. The doctors were half right - my mom had a stillborn twin. Anyway, she was perfect prey for a charming narcissist like my dad. My sister and I were afterthoughts, accessories acquired because in the 50's, everybody had kids and very few people were childless by choice (other than all of my dad's 4 siblings!). My aunt, his older sister, who is 91, has enlightened me recently on how much my dad was favored by their mom. In the Depression, the other children went hungry while Grandma lavished all on my dad. Grandma chose me in the next generation but my basic personality is not narcissistic. I swore that I would never marry a man like my dad so I chose a husband who is a different religion, ethnic background, has different hobbies, etc. The only thing they have in common is their political affiliation because I could never marry a man from the other party. I chose wrong - my H is not a full blown narcissist but he has many of the traits. The one trait that my dad had that my H lacks is faithfulness to the wife. I realized in marriage counseling after my H's cheating bout that all of my boyfriends were NPD to some degree. If I ever get around to dumping H, I'll never marry again because I seem to be drawn to NPD types. I'd rather be alone than go through it again. The one good thing is that i don't seem to have raised any narcissists. Oldest boy was on his way there but it was because of mother in law. She did it to H - treated him like the living incarnation of G-d and ignored her D, who is now a useless, worthless, substance addled 60 year old who is financially dependent on her mommy. She tried to do it to my son, but I actually managed to convince H that we couldn't let it happen. H told mother in law to take her money and shove it when she said she wanted to leave it to oldest boy and ignore the other 4 kids. I will give H props for being a good parent, which is why I'm still with him. Other than men, I do seem to have steered clear of narcissists in my life. [/QUOTE]
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Those of us with- narcissistic parents- do you attract narcissist friends?
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