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HI JB, I second IC's thought, you sound like someone who has a lot in common with many of us and I can already think of several people here who can help you sort through some of this if you are looking for kindred spirits! This is a great board. Please start a "new thread" and create a signature under settings to let us know about you and your son (no identifying info of course and share only what is comfortable). Welcome! (PS a good book, many will agree here, is : The Explosive Child by Ross Green. It can help you sort through when to let go of the rope and when not to... smile.)