It sounds competitive. ODD can get to the stage where they are automatically oppositional out of habit and a constant sense of needing to assert 'rights' and grab as much strategic room for manouvre as possible.
At yesterday's study day at school for difficult child 3 there was an almost altercation with another boy (from a behaviour class). difficult child 3 was trying to correct the other boy, he though he had picked up the wrong item and knowing difficult child 3 and his love of order, he was trying to help. The other boys' response was, "Mind your own business."
difficult child 3's automatic, self-defence answer was "watch it." A warning to not get nasty. difficult child 3 has unfortunately learned bad social habits from years of being bullied. The behaviour student's aide pulled him back into line, but when I had a chance I asked to speak to him because I thought I had identified the problem - the behaviour kid had assumed difficult child 3 was trying to assert some sort of control, that it was competitive behaviour.
When I got the chance (after asking the aide) I said to the boy, "difficult child 3 wasn't trying to get pushy or annoy you, he really was trying to help. But he hasn't got your level of understanding of how you get on with other kids. Don't get offended by him because no offence is intended. Socially, he's a five year old with a head full of information. He wants to help, not control."
There were no more problems after that - no clashes, no conflict. The behaviour student accepted difficult child 3 with no reaction after that.
ODD kids tend to react, often they're very touchy. I've found that if you oppose their reactiveness (as natural discipline would encourage you to do) it makes the behaviour worse. It's like tug of war. They pull, you pull. And for me, I'm just not strong enough.
So I let go the rope. They fall over. Then get up and ask, "What did you do that for?"
I indicate that I don't play those sort of games.
You need new' games', new ground rules. Not easy. It helps if you can get a 'feel' for what sets them off, so you can a) avoid it; and b) work to switch it off ASAP.
Ross Greene's stuff does work, if you can use it. It seems paradoxic, but it's the equivalent of letting go the tug of war rope. It stops the competition and THEY learn that life isn't all about competing for power.
With these kids, once you begin to compete, they will win. Eventually. They can sense it and they keep working for it, but when they do win - it's a defeat in the long run because all they've learnt to do is fight for the wrong reasons.
So they have to learn to compete against their own past bad habits. Not easy.