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TipToeing in with question.........
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 170986" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Try not to see it as walking away, Susan. The truth is that you believed your son in the past and had him home ~to his detriment, and yours.</p><p></p><p>The reason we cannot help our addicted children is because the addiction is stronger than they are ~ stronger than we are, too.</p><p></p><p>Stronger than love, because addicted people walk away from their parents,their children and their spouses, and back into their addictions, every day.</p><p></p><p>Helping isn't helping, when the issue is addiction.</p><p></p><p>Choosing not to help does not mean we (parents or children or spouses) get away scot free.</p><p></p><p>We suffer, because someone we love is suffering.</p><p></p><p>But helping a using addict services nothing but the addiction.</p><p></p><p>Your son (and mine, too) need to get clean.</p><p></p><p>We cannot help them do that.</p><p></p><p>No one can help them.</p><p></p><p>That is why this is so hard.</p><p></p><p>But if we can turn away once we have done all we know and once we get it that turning away is the only thing left to do, then maybe our addicted loved ones can help themselves.</p><p></p><p>You sound stronger, Susan.</p><p></p><p>I know how confusing this is, but I too think you are doing the right thing by letting your son meet the consequences of his choices.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 170986, member: 1721"] Try not to see it as walking away, Susan. The truth is that you believed your son in the past and had him home ~to his detriment, and yours. The reason we cannot help our addicted children is because the addiction is stronger than they are ~ stronger than we are, too. Stronger than love, because addicted people walk away from their parents,their children and their spouses, and back into their addictions, every day. Helping isn't helping, when the issue is addiction. Choosing not to help does not mean we (parents or children or spouses) get away scot free. We suffer, because someone we love is suffering. But helping a using addict services nothing but the addiction. Your son (and mine, too) need to get clean. We cannot help them do that. No one can help them. That is why this is so hard. But if we can turn away once we have done all we know and once we get it that turning away is the only thing left to do, then maybe our addicted loved ones can help themselves. You sound stronger, Susan. I know how confusing this is, but I too think you are doing the right thing by letting your son meet the consequences of his choices. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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