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Tired & Frustrated of Being Tired & Frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753889" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear ChickPea:</p><p>Honestly. I think there's only one right answer and response to this, and it is to choose to not partake. Why would you walk into a tornado, grab hold onto a ceiling fan, put your fingers into a running mixer (I did this and I never forgot)?</p><p></p><p>It's no different from any kind of abuse, from anybody. When people treat us badly and we don't walk in the other direction, the problem is our own not theirs.</p><p>What's the word for this? Oxymoron? When one word at once means the opposite? A fun little visit equals abuse.</p><p></p><p>She is talking nuts. There's no way a person in the normal range can engage in this kind of conversation or worldview. It's like Gulliver's Travels or Oz, or some other fantasy world where up is down and down is up. Again, the answer is in you, to NOT enter into this place with her. To do so is to become disoriented, confused. Why would we take this on? You have clarity about your life, your values, your conduct, your purpose.</p><p></p><p>What consistently confuses and disorients us is our love for children who we are programmed to chase into the netherworld, because this is how we have understood love. Think Runaway Bunny. Our purpose here is to find a way to love adults who are no longer children, but who act that way. We can't do it the old way.</p><p>Of course there is logic to this in the psychic and physical world <em>in which she lives.</em> The thing is, our children force us to deal with their world, while they reject or subvert ours. This is why so many of us are forced to sever contact, because it comes down to having to choose between worlds. Many of us come to see that the worlds our children choose to inhabit are incompatible with what we know and are.</p><p>I think there are moments when the awareness of her craziness and moral compromise enters into her consciousness. And even she can't stand it. She sets off bombs to obscure this clarity. To divert her own attention, not yours.</p><p></p><p>But how does it help, really, to understand, if the basic situation remains the same. You have a baby to raise, a self to recover, a family to sustain. And daughter makes "bombs blasting mid-air" when she's not busy living la vida loca. This is her reality.</p><p></p><p>To the extent it's yours, it robs you of strength, calm. and even safety. She threatens you. She threatens the baby. This is very, very hard to bear. I feel it in the pit of my stomach as I write. I can't imagine how it must feel for you. I am sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753889, member: 18958"] Dear ChickPea: Honestly. I think there's only one right answer and response to this, and it is to choose to not partake. Why would you walk into a tornado, grab hold onto a ceiling fan, put your fingers into a running mixer (I did this and I never forgot)? It's no different from any kind of abuse, from anybody. When people treat us badly and we don't walk in the other direction, the problem is our own not theirs. What's the word for this? Oxymoron? When one word at once means the opposite? A fun little visit equals abuse. She is talking nuts. There's no way a person in the normal range can engage in this kind of conversation or worldview. It's like Gulliver's Travels or Oz, or some other fantasy world where up is down and down is up. Again, the answer is in you, to NOT enter into this place with her. To do so is to become disoriented, confused. Why would we take this on? You have clarity about your life, your values, your conduct, your purpose. What consistently confuses and disorients us is our love for children who we are programmed to chase into the netherworld, because this is how we have understood love. Think Runaway Bunny. Our purpose here is to find a way to love adults who are no longer children, but who act that way. We can't do it the old way. Of course there is logic to this in the psychic and physical world [I]in which she lives.[/I] The thing is, our children force us to deal with their world, while they reject or subvert ours. This is why so many of us are forced to sever contact, because it comes down to having to choose between worlds. Many of us come to see that the worlds our children choose to inhabit are incompatible with what we know and are. I think there are moments when the awareness of her craziness and moral compromise enters into her consciousness. And even she can't stand it. She sets off bombs to obscure this clarity. To divert her own attention, not yours. But how does it help, really, to understand, if the basic situation remains the same. You have a baby to raise, a self to recover, a family to sustain. And daughter makes "bombs blasting mid-air" when she's not busy living la vida loca. This is her reality. To the extent it's yours, it robs you of strength, calm. and even safety. She threatens you. She threatens the baby. This is very, very hard to bear. I feel it in the pit of my stomach as I write. I can't imagine how it must feel for you. I am sorry. [/QUOTE]
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