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Tired & Frustrated of Being Tired & Frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="ChickPea" data-source="post: 753898" data-attributes="member: 24089"><p>To choose not to partake. Choose not to partake, <strong>choose not to partake</strong>. (Mantra to self.)</p><p>Once I stopped engaging with her, it was better. </p><p></p><p>I think it has been our normal, and there is guilt and fear, and I got sucked in. It's HER normal, I do not want it to be mine. But it ruined about 48 hours of my life - maybe more because I still find myself just drained today in a way that coffee and walking and napping can't touch. </p><p></p><p>I think I got sucked in out of fear... fear of what she would do, what she might ruin (Thanksgiving, family engagements, etc.). She lies to him and his family and tells them that she is doing way more than she is with the baby. She doesn't want to ruin that lie, so she'd rather take him into an unsafe situation than admit the truth about anything.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your words. It does feel horrible. Not all the time, but sometimes it's hard to feel any other way. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It's kind of gray, honestly. The police that came when she called a month or so ago said that she would need to go to court and get ordered custody if that was what she wanted. I don't understand it, but that's what we have been told. The people at probate and family courts can't give advice, but they can give other answers, and they said we did (and are doing) nothing wrong, and we are doing well to protect him from this chaos and turmoil. We are in a good place because we have guardianship.</p><p></p><p>If there were supervised visits, I would much rather them not be here, and would much rather them be with a social worker. </p><p></p><p>I think it's a bit hard for me to see the situation for what it is at times. Her decisions and behaviors have changed her access to our home, and also to the baby (based on what we've determined is best for him). His placement here was her idea to keep him safe from the father, and to provide support for her. But it quickly spiraled into us giving full-time care, and also keeping things stable and safe for him despite what was going on with HER.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Thanks for the encouragement. I do appreciate it, especially on a day like today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChickPea, post: 753898, member: 24089"] To choose not to partake. Choose not to partake, [B]choose not to partake[/B]. (Mantra to self.) Once I stopped engaging with her, it was better. I think it has been our normal, and there is guilt and fear, and I got sucked in. It's HER normal, I do not want it to be mine. But it ruined about 48 hours of my life - maybe more because I still find myself just drained today in a way that coffee and walking and napping can't touch. I think I got sucked in out of fear... fear of what she would do, what she might ruin (Thanksgiving, family engagements, etc.). She lies to him and his family and tells them that she is doing way more than she is with the baby. She doesn't want to ruin that lie, so she'd rather take him into an unsafe situation than admit the truth about anything. Thanks for your words. It does feel horrible. Not all the time, but sometimes it's hard to feel any other way. It's kind of gray, honestly. The police that came when she called a month or so ago said that she would need to go to court and get ordered custody if that was what she wanted. I don't understand it, but that's what we have been told. The people at probate and family courts can't give advice, but they can give other answers, and they said we did (and are doing) nothing wrong, and we are doing well to protect him from this chaos and turmoil. We are in a good place because we have guardianship. If there were supervised visits, I would much rather them not be here, and would much rather them be with a social worker. I think it's a bit hard for me to see the situation for what it is at times. Her decisions and behaviors have changed her access to our home, and also to the baby (based on what we've determined is best for him). His placement here was her idea to keep him safe from the father, and to provide support for her. But it quickly spiraled into us giving full-time care, and also keeping things stable and safe for him despite what was going on with HER. Thanks for the encouragement. I do appreciate it, especially on a day like today. [/QUOTE]
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