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Parent Emeritus
Tired of acting, tired of perfect family.
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 630299" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>I don't know,</p><p>Welcome! So sorry for the circumstances, but glad you're here. I share the feelings you do about perfect families. I am an overachiever by nature, but my kids are challenging, and everyone else in the family gets to feel proud of their easy, neuro-typical, well behaved children. I feel sorry for myself a lot. But I'm getting better at limiting indulging in those thoughts and gently disciplining myself to focus more on what I can be thankful for. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you have been steeped in the challenges of coping with your son's mental health and behaviors for a long time. Others who have not experienced this unique difficulty cannot possibly comprehend the depth and life-altering nature of this situation. </p><p></p><p>I am sad to hear about your son's troubles, and I can't help but think that our mental health system is failing on so many levels. He needs help and treatment that he seems incapable of managing on his own, given his learning disabilities. It's heartbreaking. Yet, you have obviously done everything you can, and it is up to him to at least reach out and be receptive to the help he needs.</p><p></p><p>As for you, in my humble opinion, you should go to the reunion and hold your head high. Treat yourself to a new outfit, and focus on the people in your family that support you. Value yourself as a unique person with many gifts and talents. Remember that other families often seem to be perfect when in fact they are far from it. Even when families are blessed with great kids, they really can't take credit for that any more than you should feel responsible for your son's mental health and disability issues. They are fortunate and should be thankful though. </p><p></p><p>One good thing that you have probably gained from your experience with this is a whole lot of compassion and empathy for others. You have the capacity and deeper sensitivity now to the struggles of others, having experienced your own trials. As you move your focus away from the things you can't control, like your son's choices, to the things you can control, like your choices, maybe you can invest yourself in something that gives you purpose and brings healing. You could volunteer or get involved in an activity or hobby that matters to you. </p><p></p><p>Again, welcome! You will find an amazingly terrific group of people here 24/7 who care and listen any time. Please keep posting and let us know how it goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 630299, member: 4855"] I don't know, Welcome! So sorry for the circumstances, but glad you're here. I share the feelings you do about perfect families. I am an overachiever by nature, but my kids are challenging, and everyone else in the family gets to feel proud of their easy, neuro-typical, well behaved children. I feel sorry for myself a lot. But I'm getting better at limiting indulging in those thoughts and gently disciplining myself to focus more on what I can be thankful for. It sounds like you have been steeped in the challenges of coping with your son's mental health and behaviors for a long time. Others who have not experienced this unique difficulty cannot possibly comprehend the depth and life-altering nature of this situation. I am sad to hear about your son's troubles, and I can't help but think that our mental health system is failing on so many levels. He needs help and treatment that he seems incapable of managing on his own, given his learning disabilities. It's heartbreaking. Yet, you have obviously done everything you can, and it is up to him to at least reach out and be receptive to the help he needs. As for you, in my humble opinion, you should go to the reunion and hold your head high. Treat yourself to a new outfit, and focus on the people in your family that support you. Value yourself as a unique person with many gifts and talents. Remember that other families often seem to be perfect when in fact they are far from it. Even when families are blessed with great kids, they really can't take credit for that any more than you should feel responsible for your son's mental health and disability issues. They are fortunate and should be thankful though. One good thing that you have probably gained from your experience with this is a whole lot of compassion and empathy for others. You have the capacity and deeper sensitivity now to the struggles of others, having experienced your own trials. As you move your focus away from the things you can't control, like your son's choices, to the things you can control, like your choices, maybe you can invest yourself in something that gives you purpose and brings healing. You could volunteer or get involved in an activity or hobby that matters to you. Again, welcome! You will find an amazingly terrific group of people here 24/7 who care and listen any time. Please keep posting and let us know how it goes. [/QUOTE]
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Tired of acting, tired of perfect family.
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