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Tired of all of the drama!
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 567694" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Tired,</p><p></p><p>I lived with and loved such a man for nearly 30 yrs. It's not such an easy thing to live with even when you do come to understand it. Mostly I think because others don't really "get" it and so think they're being snubbed, ignored, or whatever have you. I know it used to drive my family nuts. There was a point where I did tell Fred that by darn I was always polite and involved with his family especially gatherings and holidays, he could fake it if necessary or else we'd cut everyone off and just stop socializing completely. Now I adored his parents and my sister in law.......but you get nagged for the millionth time about how your husband has ignored visitors or how this person thinks he's ignoring them purposely just to be hurtful........one too many times. That was the point where I was at. </p><p></p><p>Fred wasn't a very social person. He could manage for short periods with groups of people, but preferred one on one with those he felt comfortable with.........which was mainly me. Being autistic, he had weak social skills and it made him anxious. But we did manage to reach an agreement (because he certainly didn't want me cutting off socialization with <strong>his</strong> family) he didn't have to be a social butterfly but he did have to be polite and interact, be present and accounted for.......not hiding somewhere else in the house. If he could manage that for a few hours, then I'd let him go off into another room to relax. It worked pretty well. </p><p></p><p>It helped that I understood because I'm also not a social person. Oh, I can enjoy myself with people I want to spend time with of course.........but I don't like large groups of people even if it's family. And shoot, while I may love my family, I can only take them in small doses too. lol </p><p></p><p>So yes, I understand. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 567694, member: 84"] Tired, I lived with and loved such a man for nearly 30 yrs. It's not such an easy thing to live with even when you do come to understand it. Mostly I think because others don't really "get" it and so think they're being snubbed, ignored, or whatever have you. I know it used to drive my family nuts. There was a point where I did tell Fred that by darn I was always polite and involved with his family especially gatherings and holidays, he could fake it if necessary or else we'd cut everyone off and just stop socializing completely. Now I adored his parents and my sister in law.......but you get nagged for the millionth time about how your husband has ignored visitors or how this person thinks he's ignoring them purposely just to be hurtful........one too many times. That was the point where I was at. Fred wasn't a very social person. He could manage for short periods with groups of people, but preferred one on one with those he felt comfortable with.........which was mainly me. Being autistic, he had weak social skills and it made him anxious. But we did manage to reach an agreement (because he certainly didn't want me cutting off socialization with [B]his[/B] family) he didn't have to be a social butterfly but he did have to be polite and interact, be present and accounted for.......not hiding somewhere else in the house. If he could manage that for a few hours, then I'd let him go off into another room to relax. It worked pretty well. It helped that I understood because I'm also not a social person. Oh, I can enjoy myself with people I want to spend time with of course.........but I don't like large groups of people even if it's family. And shoot, while I may love my family, I can only take them in small doses too. lol So yes, I understand. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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