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Tired of the drama of dysfunctional people
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 145803" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>After all of this I sat on the stockroom floor crying because I miss H.</p><p>She would have called what happened today "crazy making". </p><p>She would have understood. </p><p>What if no one else, ever, understands like her? </p><p>She made me feel vindicated, when others were vindicative. </p><p>She made me feel sane, when others made me feel insane.</p><p>She was my rock, and my anchor.</p><p>I need her.</p><p><strong>I just want to be with her, wherever she is. Even if it is in death that we can be together again. I need her more than I need this crappy life.</strong></p><p> </p><p>I hope that I'm not reading more into the above than I think I am! H would <strong><em><u>kill</u></em></strong> you if you did something rash.</p><p> </p><p>Listen: I can't begin to imagine that I know what you're going through. But let's list this out as best as we can:</p><p> </p><p>1. H disappeared and something terrible happened. You've gotten no complete answers that will allow you to feel your feelings and move on. You feel stuck and disoriented and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry.</p><p> </p><p>2. you were away from difficult child so that lit up even more troubles for him, so you feel stuck and disoriented and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry.</p><p> </p><p>3. you were excited about working at this place, found out that they're a pack of wolverines that dress really well. They've now caused you to feel stuck and disorineted and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry.</p><p> </p><p>4. one of the top 100 best places in the world to work for svcks to work for.</p><p> </p><p>5. your doctor was a dork that tried to stop you from sleeping for 8 hours and you resorted to sleeping 2 and going crazy trying to fall asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Hmmmmm. Are you taking anything for depression? Might want to think about that! </p><p> </p><p>Now: we've laid it all out - what can you change?</p><p> </p><p>Well, 1 is going to be with you for a looooong time. But if you accept that H was there in the storeroom telling you everything you needed to hear, you will understand what we've been telling you. She's there! Look for the hug! Look for the pennies from heaven (I don't know if you've read any of those stories, but they're amazing). Pennies from heaven are the ones that just show up when you're thinking of someone that's passed. </p><p> </p><p>2. difficult child will get through this. He always does. It's a pain in the butt, but not insurmountable.</p><p> </p><p>3. we'll get back to that</p><p> </p><p>4. ALL CORPORATIONS THAT CATER TO WALL STREET SVCK! no ifs ands or buts!</p><p> </p><p>5. You already beat the doctor at his own game, so you win!</p><p> </p><p>Now, back to number 3. Basically, rule of thumb: it's time to sit down with your manager and go over your expectations on what your job entails and what the roles are that you're supposed to fulfill. For pete's sake, this is like when I worked for a major telecommunications giant, and it felt like they'd shackle your ankles and yell "run". </p><p> </p><p>What's her agenda? What are her expectations? How does she propose you fulfill her expectations? What is the exact job description of not only your job, but the role/responsibilities of the people working for you? This seems like one of those bosses who likes to be "in charge" as long as everyone likes her. </p><p> </p><p>I hope I'm not overstepping here, but you sound really, really depressed and I'm worried about you being so dispondent. If you need to talk, feel free to pm me and I'll be happy to be an ear (although I'm often accused of being more of an as$!). lol</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 145803, member: 3814"] After all of this I sat on the stockroom floor crying because I miss H. She would have called what happened today "crazy making". She would have understood. What if no one else, ever, understands like her? She made me feel vindicated, when others were vindicative. She made me feel sane, when others made me feel insane. She was my rock, and my anchor. I need her. [B]I just want to be with her, wherever she is. Even if it is in death that we can be together again. I need her more than I need this crappy life.[/B] I hope that I'm not reading more into the above than I think I am! H would [B][I][U]kill[/U][/I][/B] you if you did something rash. Listen: I can't begin to imagine that I know what you're going through. But let's list this out as best as we can: 1. H disappeared and something terrible happened. You've gotten no complete answers that will allow you to feel your feelings and move on. You feel stuck and disoriented and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry. 2. you were away from difficult child so that lit up even more troubles for him, so you feel stuck and disoriented and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry. 3. you were excited about working at this place, found out that they're a pack of wolverines that dress really well. They've now caused you to feel stuck and disorineted and mad and sad and angry and then guilty for feeling angry. 4. one of the top 100 best places in the world to work for svcks to work for. 5. your doctor was a dork that tried to stop you from sleeping for 8 hours and you resorted to sleeping 2 and going crazy trying to fall asleep. Hmmmmm. Are you taking anything for depression? Might want to think about that! Now: we've laid it all out - what can you change? Well, 1 is going to be with you for a looooong time. But if you accept that H was there in the storeroom telling you everything you needed to hear, you will understand what we've been telling you. She's there! Look for the hug! Look for the pennies from heaven (I don't know if you've read any of those stories, but they're amazing). Pennies from heaven are the ones that just show up when you're thinking of someone that's passed. 2. difficult child will get through this. He always does. It's a pain in the butt, but not insurmountable. 3. we'll get back to that 4. ALL CORPORATIONS THAT CATER TO WALL STREET SVCK! no ifs ands or buts! 5. You already beat the doctor at his own game, so you win! Now, back to number 3. Basically, rule of thumb: it's time to sit down with your manager and go over your expectations on what your job entails and what the roles are that you're supposed to fulfill. For pete's sake, this is like when I worked for a major telecommunications giant, and it felt like they'd shackle your ankles and yell "run". What's her agenda? What are her expectations? How does she propose you fulfill her expectations? What is the exact job description of not only your job, but the role/responsibilities of the people working for you? This seems like one of those bosses who likes to be "in charge" as long as everyone likes her. I hope I'm not overstepping here, but you sound really, really depressed and I'm worried about you being so dispondent. If you need to talk, feel free to pm me and I'll be happy to be an ear (although I'm often accused of being more of an as$!). lol Beth [/QUOTE]
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