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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 171788" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We must also not forget that a child's environment is not just the parents.</p><p></p><p>My sister and her husband bought a business in the country, a mining town. They ran a pub, in fact. It was rough. Their son was 2, the daughter just a baby (born in the last year they were there).</p><p></p><p>The son had been a strong-willed toddler, but now became a big behaviour problem. He would run away. They would find him on the train tracks, or in the middle of the highway. They joked that he was suicidal. I believe he was.</p><p></p><p>My sister had not expected to be working such long hours herself, or working os hard. The kids were more neglected than they should have been, but her discipline methods never changed. They were at this place for two years before they got out and came back to the city. In those two years the boy became a big problem. He also was on antibiotics but began to refuse his medicine. My sister and my mother tried hiding it in his drinks but he would detect the flavour and refuse it. The only other way to dose him was to hold him down and force his jaws apart.</p><p></p><p>My sister told my mother that some things and money had been going missing from their private rooms in the pub. She suspected a long-term resident, who she had seen coming out of the kids' room. There had also been times when she couldn't rouse her son.</p><p></p><p>While I believe a pub is not a good place to raise a child, it shouldn't have been that disastrous. I also believe that my nephew was being drugged and molested. </p><p></p><p>My sister's parenting style was not at fault - her daughter, and another son later on, turned out fine. But her older son has had problems. He improved a lot when they moved permanently back to the city, but he was a troubled teen and finally moved to live away from people, almost a hermit. He finally dropped his wild ways and now works a steady job in engineering maintenance.</p><p></p><p>Other environmental factors were I think a major cause of my nephew's difficult child-ness. Good parenting was not able to overcome them. Mind you, I feel a batter parent (or perhaps more open times) would have uncovered the abuse and organised counselling. But I can't hold my sister responsible for what she simply couldn't see and what society wouldn't allow her to deal with, if she HAD seen.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 171788, member: 1991"] We must also not forget that a child's environment is not just the parents. My sister and her husband bought a business in the country, a mining town. They ran a pub, in fact. It was rough. Their son was 2, the daughter just a baby (born in the last year they were there). The son had been a strong-willed toddler, but now became a big behaviour problem. He would run away. They would find him on the train tracks, or in the middle of the highway. They joked that he was suicidal. I believe he was. My sister had not expected to be working such long hours herself, or working os hard. The kids were more neglected than they should have been, but her discipline methods never changed. They were at this place for two years before they got out and came back to the city. In those two years the boy became a big problem. He also was on antibiotics but began to refuse his medicine. My sister and my mother tried hiding it in his drinks but he would detect the flavour and refuse it. The only other way to dose him was to hold him down and force his jaws apart. My sister told my mother that some things and money had been going missing from their private rooms in the pub. She suspected a long-term resident, who she had seen coming out of the kids' room. There had also been times when she couldn't rouse her son. While I believe a pub is not a good place to raise a child, it shouldn't have been that disastrous. I also believe that my nephew was being drugged and molested. My sister's parenting style was not at fault - her daughter, and another son later on, turned out fine. But her older son has had problems. He improved a lot when they moved permanently back to the city, but he was a troubled teen and finally moved to live away from people, almost a hermit. He finally dropped his wild ways and now works a steady job in engineering maintenance. Other environmental factors were I think a major cause of my nephew's difficult child-ness. Good parenting was not able to overcome them. Mind you, I feel a batter parent (or perhaps more open times) would have uncovered the abuse and organised counselling. But I can't hold my sister responsible for what she simply couldn't see and what society wouldn't allow her to deal with, if she HAD seen. Marg [/QUOTE]
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