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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 171839" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I have thought a lot about this due to the family I grew up in. My mom is bipolar and my dad has schizophrenic tendencies. They had an incredibly dysfunctional marriage and the dysfunctional households continued after the divorce. It's the kind of family you would look at and think there should be no hope for the kids. Yet out of the three of us kids, my younger brother and I apparently have no genetic predisposition for those mental health problems. We rode out childhood, mopped up the wounds, rebound from the hits we take in adulthood, and lead stable functional lives. My brother with the neurological problems since birth had a lot of emotional and behavioral problems which led to substance abuse and trouble with the law. He died in a car accident when he was young so I'll never know how it would have played out in the end but it's hard to ignore the correlation. </p><p> </p><p>The other thing I've given thought to is that despite the serious dysfunction in our family, some life principles grew out of it that have served us well. For instance, both my brother and I have a high respect for life. And we're fiercely loyal to each other (we live a few states away and it's not uncommon for us to talk on the phone several times a week). We both were absolutely determined that our kids wouldn't live a repeat of what we went through and it's very much impacted the choices we've made. Don't get me wrong: it's not like we both are living a cakewalk, perfect life and expect to see things rosy for our kids because of it. But neither are we stuck in the mire of the past. I think not having the genetic or medical tendencies towards mental health problems frees up a lot of personal energy and resources to put towards everyday life.</p><p> </p><p>As far as we knew, my brother's neurological problems stemmed from a forceps delivery. What a crapshoot life is--it could have been me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 171839, member: 701"] I have thought a lot about this due to the family I grew up in. My mom is bipolar and my dad has schizophrenic tendencies. They had an incredibly dysfunctional marriage and the dysfunctional households continued after the divorce. It's the kind of family you would look at and think there should be no hope for the kids. Yet out of the three of us kids, my younger brother and I apparently have no genetic predisposition for those mental health problems. We rode out childhood, mopped up the wounds, rebound from the hits we take in adulthood, and lead stable functional lives. My brother with the neurological problems since birth had a lot of emotional and behavioral problems which led to substance abuse and trouble with the law. He died in a car accident when he was young so I'll never know how it would have played out in the end but it's hard to ignore the correlation. The other thing I've given thought to is that despite the serious dysfunction in our family, some life principles grew out of it that have served us well. For instance, both my brother and I have a high respect for life. And we're fiercely loyal to each other (we live a few states away and it's not uncommon for us to talk on the phone several times a week). We both were absolutely determined that our kids wouldn't live a repeat of what we went through and it's very much impacted the choices we've made. Don't get me wrong: it's not like we both are living a cakewalk, perfect life and expect to see things rosy for our kids because of it. But neither are we stuck in the mire of the past. I think not having the genetic or medical tendencies towards mental health problems frees up a lot of personal energy and resources to put towards everyday life. As far as we knew, my brother's neurological problems stemmed from a forceps delivery. What a crapshoot life is--it could have been me. [/QUOTE]
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