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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 113140" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>That's just it, Stands. You can't know. Only your difficult child can know, and right now it doesn't sound like he is. When he is ready to change, it will be clear from his behaviour and his attitude. He will not be asking your help to get him out of jail. He will be asking your help to help himself get on the right path.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is showing a similar attitude to yours. He's in a long-term/permanent Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and he's not doing any of the work to learn or improve himself. He's rebelling and fighting against the program rather than working it.</p><p></p><p>Over time I have realized (my therapist said this was a huge breakthrough) that there's nothing more I can do for him. difficult child is safe, has food and shelter, and 24-hour supervision so that the worst of his excesses will not kill him. The rest is up to him. He gets to choose what he will make of this opportunity, and he gets to own the success or failure of it.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child needs to have the same opportunity. If you keep doing things for him, you are denying him the opportunity to succeed. That's not fair to either of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 113140, member: 3907"] That's just it, Stands. You can't know. Only your difficult child can know, and right now it doesn't sound like he is. When he is ready to change, it will be clear from his behaviour and his attitude. He will not be asking your help to get him out of jail. He will be asking your help to help himself get on the right path. My difficult child is showing a similar attitude to yours. He's in a long-term/permanent Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and he's not doing any of the work to learn or improve himself. He's rebelling and fighting against the program rather than working it. Over time I have realized (my therapist said this was a huge breakthrough) that there's nothing more I can do for him. difficult child is safe, has food and shelter, and 24-hour supervision so that the worst of his excesses will not kill him. The rest is up to him. He gets to choose what he will make of this opportunity, and he gets to own the success or failure of it. Your difficult child needs to have the same opportunity. If you keep doing things for him, you are denying him the opportunity to succeed. That's not fair to either of you. [/QUOTE]
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