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To tell or not to tell?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 555313" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Telling him should not be an issue. Now I won't say your reluctance to do so means the relationship is not going well..........because we all know the public at large pretty much only has stereotypical information (if any at all) to base their judgements on such things. But telling your boyfriend you have bipolar should be along the lines of telling him say......you had your appendix out or whatever. It's not like you asked to be bipolar, or want to be, it simply IS. The sooner he knows, the better in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>Why? Because you're not being honest with him. Keeping it from him is just another form of lying. Ask yourself, why is it ok for him to know your kids issues but not yours? Do you expect him to hit the road the moment he knows? (I'm guessing yes) Well, if he does, then he wasn't worth your time/effort to begin with. </p><p></p><p>His side..........I'd be mighty furious that someone I was in a relationship with for 2 yrs didn't bother to tell me something that important about themselves. It shows a major lack of trust. Nor would it let me know exactly what I was getting myself into relationship wise. Honestly, while I have little issue myself with mental illness (especially if the person is sticking to treatment), I'd walk simply because you weren't honest from the beginning. I'm not saying you should tell someone immediately, but 2 yrs is just too far in to the relationship. </p><p></p><p>He can get educated. Either his views will change or not. But how are you going to feel if you give your heart totally to this guy, say accept marriage........and then he walks when you finally do get around to telling him? Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>Nichole has learned the hard way that there is no reason for her to be secretive about either her Borderline (BPD) or her bipolar. Now she won't pour out her life story to just anyone. But she is open and honest about it. If someone has an issue, then she knows before investing much into the relationship. Keeps either side from being hurt really badly. Shoot, her husband still has issues with it from time to time and he's known from the beginning. But we're amazed at how much he's learned over the years he's been with her. He's not perfect by a long shot.......but he loves her for her, illness or not.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 555313, member: 84"] Telling him should not be an issue. Now I won't say your reluctance to do so means the relationship is not going well..........because we all know the public at large pretty much only has stereotypical information (if any at all) to base their judgements on such things. But telling your boyfriend you have bipolar should be along the lines of telling him say......you had your appendix out or whatever. It's not like you asked to be bipolar, or want to be, it simply IS. The sooner he knows, the better in my opinion. Why? Because you're not being honest with him. Keeping it from him is just another form of lying. Ask yourself, why is it ok for him to know your kids issues but not yours? Do you expect him to hit the road the moment he knows? (I'm guessing yes) Well, if he does, then he wasn't worth your time/effort to begin with. His side..........I'd be mighty furious that someone I was in a relationship with for 2 yrs didn't bother to tell me something that important about themselves. It shows a major lack of trust. Nor would it let me know exactly what I was getting myself into relationship wise. Honestly, while I have little issue myself with mental illness (especially if the person is sticking to treatment), I'd walk simply because you weren't honest from the beginning. I'm not saying you should tell someone immediately, but 2 yrs is just too far in to the relationship. He can get educated. Either his views will change or not. But how are you going to feel if you give your heart totally to this guy, say accept marriage........and then he walks when you finally do get around to telling him? Know what I mean?? Nichole has learned the hard way that there is no reason for her to be secretive about either her Borderline (BPD) or her bipolar. Now she won't pour out her life story to just anyone. But she is open and honest about it. If someone has an issue, then she knows before investing much into the relationship. Keeps either side from being hurt really badly. Shoot, her husband still has issues with it from time to time and he's known from the beginning. But we're amazed at how much he's learned over the years he's been with her. He's not perfect by a long shot.......but he loves her for her, illness or not. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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