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To tell or not to tell?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 555411" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I also am another who thinks you need to tell him. Is his reaction a risk to you? Perhaps. Is this possibly a defining moment for your relationship? Probably. The thing is, for seven months you two have been romantically involved. At that stage, there usually is an idea that this is potentially serious and obviously you both are committed to moving forward in whatever way. This isn't simply a few initial dates. </p><p>Your worries are perfectly rational to me and understandable. The thing is, for a healthy relationship, both partners have a right to know the important things about the other at this stage. Because something like bipolar is not simply a personal issue for you, it effects an entire family. And if this relationship stands the test of time, a family at some point you will be. How can he decide if he can cope with it if he is left unaware? How can you know if he is the type that can stand behind you as you need over a lifetime if he isn't even aware? Know what I mean?? </p><p>I think that he might be hurt you didn't say anything sooner, but I also think it reasonable to respond that any sooner you couldn't have known of there was a possibility of something beyond a few get to know you dates. But now you can see this is trying to head to long term</p><p>Relationship status, making it the right time to discuss issues like this. </p><p>Regardless of his reaction (hopefully supportive!!!), you'll certainly benefit from not feeling that angst and torn feeling you are feeling if your sad sounding post is any indicator. </p><p>I understand fearing rejection and lack of understanding or acceptance. But if not tested now, then when? And too much longer and regardless of his reaction to your disclosure, he likely will end up with a valid response of betrayal that leaves him feeling left in the dark about something very important to know about a long term partner. Informed consent, Know what I mean?? </p><p>Whenever you do decide to tackle this situation, I will hope that he is responsive in a good way, even if he needs down educating and some time to understand that you have bipolar but it doesn't define you. You are much more than a label or mood disorder and you hold all the qualities that he has enjoyed in you for two years of friendship and seven months romantically. A good cue that this is the right time, is his desire to know your children. An expression that he wants more than dating.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 555411, member: 4264"] I also am another who thinks you need to tell him. Is his reaction a risk to you? Perhaps. Is this possibly a defining moment for your relationship? Probably. The thing is, for seven months you two have been romantically involved. At that stage, there usually is an idea that this is potentially serious and obviously you both are committed to moving forward in whatever way. This isn't simply a few initial dates. Your worries are perfectly rational to me and understandable. The thing is, for a healthy relationship, both partners have a right to know the important things about the other at this stage. Because something like bipolar is not simply a personal issue for you, it effects an entire family. And if this relationship stands the test of time, a family at some point you will be. How can he decide if he can cope with it if he is left unaware? How can you know if he is the type that can stand behind you as you need over a lifetime if he isn't even aware? Know what I mean?? I think that he might be hurt you didn't say anything sooner, but I also think it reasonable to respond that any sooner you couldn't have known of there was a possibility of something beyond a few get to know you dates. But now you can see this is trying to head to long term Relationship status, making it the right time to discuss issues like this. Regardless of his reaction (hopefully supportive!!!), you'll certainly benefit from not feeling that angst and torn feeling you are feeling if your sad sounding post is any indicator. I understand fearing rejection and lack of understanding or acceptance. But if not tested now, then when? And too much longer and regardless of his reaction to your disclosure, he likely will end up with a valid response of betrayal that leaves him feeling left in the dark about something very important to know about a long term partner. Informed consent, Know what I mean?? Whenever you do decide to tackle this situation, I will hope that he is responsive in a good way, even if he needs down educating and some time to understand that you have bipolar but it doesn't define you. You are much more than a label or mood disorder and you hold all the qualities that he has enjoyed in you for two years of friendship and seven months romantically. A good cue that this is the right time, is his desire to know your children. An expression that he wants more than dating. [/QUOTE]
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