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General Parenting
Today's incident. What would you have done?
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 267368" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Shari, I think there are a couple of issues entwined. </p><p>I think the para isn't a so so para but one who thinks power and dominance is the way to treat children.</p><p>the second is the safe room being used. I think it is a safe way to protect a child from hurting himself or others. there has to be tools that staff can use that doesn't involve physical restraint and the safe room works. Using it for anything but raging or dangerous behavior is negating what it's purpose is meant to be. this is another sign of ignorance of the para and whoever is supervising your son's treatment plan.</p><p></p><p>the school work can not be accomplished when in an emotional meltdown but if the treatment plan is to make sure difficult child isn't using tantrums as a way to divert attention or avoid work then it's a ridiculous waste of energy and a negative influence on difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I believe that there is a written plan and if the para isn't using it appropriately then you need to talk to her supervisor. </p><p>I do think you have to ask if difficult child was trying to apologize as a way to distract everyone from the intensity of the situation or if he really cared about how you felt. It would seem very introspective for a young difficult child to worry about mom when in the middle of a melt down. </p><p></p><p>Is school using too much punishment? Is he in the best environment for him? School shouldn't be torture every day. I know it was for many days for my son. Again, if I knew then what I knew now, I would have done something different. I was concerned that he would not be able to keep up with his peers. In the end, he never did and never will so it was a wasted energy on my part. If I could do it again, I would look at what helps difficult child to function and skip the whole trying to fit the educational mold even if it's Special Education. It simply doesn't work for uniquely wired kids like ours. Let him get some emotional stability then work on academics. </p><p></p><p>It is incredibly painful as a parent to watch your child in such a vulnerable state being directed by someone who doesn't seem to have your son's best interest. It is an issue you need to take up with the team that is working with your son. </p><p></p><p>this is not a child who just needs more discipline. Anyone who thinks punishment is a cure for what ails him is a moron. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean he doesn't need limits and consequences but she was being a bully which is what people do when they are too stupid to learn a better way. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. I know you are trying to do the right thing for him and trying to work with the system. It seems we are damned if we do and damned if we don't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 267368, member: 3"] Shari, I think there are a couple of issues entwined. I think the para isn't a so so para but one who thinks power and dominance is the way to treat children. the second is the safe room being used. I think it is a safe way to protect a child from hurting himself or others. there has to be tools that staff can use that doesn't involve physical restraint and the safe room works. Using it for anything but raging or dangerous behavior is negating what it's purpose is meant to be. this is another sign of ignorance of the para and whoever is supervising your son's treatment plan. the school work can not be accomplished when in an emotional meltdown but if the treatment plan is to make sure difficult child isn't using tantrums as a way to divert attention or avoid work then it's a ridiculous waste of energy and a negative influence on difficult child. I believe that there is a written plan and if the para isn't using it appropriately then you need to talk to her supervisor. I do think you have to ask if difficult child was trying to apologize as a way to distract everyone from the intensity of the situation or if he really cared about how you felt. It would seem very introspective for a young difficult child to worry about mom when in the middle of a melt down. Is school using too much punishment? Is he in the best environment for him? School shouldn't be torture every day. I know it was for many days for my son. Again, if I knew then what I knew now, I would have done something different. I was concerned that he would not be able to keep up with his peers. In the end, he never did and never will so it was a wasted energy on my part. If I could do it again, I would look at what helps difficult child to function and skip the whole trying to fit the educational mold even if it's Special Education. It simply doesn't work for uniquely wired kids like ours. Let him get some emotional stability then work on academics. It is incredibly painful as a parent to watch your child in such a vulnerable state being directed by someone who doesn't seem to have your son's best interest. It is an issue you need to take up with the team that is working with your son. this is not a child who just needs more discipline. Anyone who thinks punishment is a cure for what ails him is a moron. It doesn't mean he doesn't need limits and consequences but she was being a bully which is what people do when they are too stupid to learn a better way. Hugs. I know you are trying to do the right thing for him and trying to work with the system. It seems we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. [/QUOTE]
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