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Told our difficult child not to come home for holidays, feeling regreted but we just had to...
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<blockquote data-quote="pacific ocean" data-source="post: 702955" data-attributes="member: 21010"><p>Thank you for your reply.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Did your son ( I guess C3 according to your signature?) have identity issues while growing up in another country/being adopted/ethnically?</p><p></p><p>Our Difficult Child is multiple-racial. Her dark skin and body features made her stand out so much while growing up here. She seemed to proud of it but when she often misinterpreted the messages from people who said positive things about her and then looked them down and never tried to merge with them for anything. People whom Difficult Child "approve"/gave a pass to access her have given her wonderful opportunities mainly, jobs like interpreting, teaching, and even being on stage. It must have been hard not being "fit" in this culture where we live but she complains on everything everywhere unless she is #1. Since she was a thriving learner, we put her in the best school and gave her lots of opportunities to get various experience, well, mainly to meet different people because she was never appreciative of different people.</p><p>It's funny her one time boyfriend told me that our Difficult Child seems to be the most classic person who grew up in this culture he's ever met. To us she seems to be someone from outer planet. She is probably acting Asian up in the US and making that an excuse to "reason" for her differences.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This makes me cry. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This brings me more crying.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Difficult Child's school is outrageously expensive, well, all the colleges in the US are so. She got some scholarships but it was still more than we could afford so we made her apply for a loan so she will have a chunk when she gets out. She could probably pay it off in a short period of time... if her luck would continue.</p><p></p><p>This morning there was a email from our bank saying the mutual account has a new pass word. Ok, Difficult Child. Now we have no access to this account so that we can't emit anything. We didn't mind to help her medical cost if she is serious about seeking help/support but now she totally wants to be independent from us.</p><p>This is making me less and less hopeful (about our reuniting) and disappointed... sad, lonely. </p><p></p><p>We are amazed how she's been surviving in the country (US) that was new to her. She never lived there. She couch surfed during summer. It's the era of internet or what.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pacific ocean, post: 702955, member: 21010"] Thank you for your reply. Did your son ( I guess C3 according to your signature?) have identity issues while growing up in another country/being adopted/ethnically? Our Difficult Child is multiple-racial. Her dark skin and body features made her stand out so much while growing up here. She seemed to proud of it but when she often misinterpreted the messages from people who said positive things about her and then looked them down and never tried to merge with them for anything. People whom Difficult Child "approve"/gave a pass to access her have given her wonderful opportunities mainly, jobs like interpreting, teaching, and even being on stage. It must have been hard not being "fit" in this culture where we live but she complains on everything everywhere unless she is #1. Since she was a thriving learner, we put her in the best school and gave her lots of opportunities to get various experience, well, mainly to meet different people because she was never appreciative of different people. It's funny her one time boyfriend told me that our Difficult Child seems to be the most classic person who grew up in this culture he's ever met. To us she seems to be someone from outer planet. She is probably acting Asian up in the US and making that an excuse to "reason" for her differences. This makes me cry. This brings me more crying. Difficult Child's school is outrageously expensive, well, all the colleges in the US are so. She got some scholarships but it was still more than we could afford so we made her apply for a loan so she will have a chunk when she gets out. She could probably pay it off in a short period of time... if her luck would continue. This morning there was a email from our bank saying the mutual account has a new pass word. Ok, Difficult Child. Now we have no access to this account so that we can't emit anything. We didn't mind to help her medical cost if she is serious about seeking help/support but now she totally wants to be independent from us. This is making me less and less hopeful (about our reuniting) and disappointed... sad, lonely. We are amazed how she's been surviving in the country (US) that was new to her. She never lived there. She couch surfed during summer. It's the era of internet or what. [/QUOTE]
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Told our difficult child not to come home for holidays, feeling regreted but we just had to...
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