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Too soft! Too strict! Ever known anyone who parented a difficult child right?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 605978" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There is no parent on earth who "gets it right." There is no one way to parent any child. It is not possible to train a child like a dog and the child is not always going to want to please us and just because we say something the perfect way, he is not going to always respond the perfect way. The more difficult the temperament of our child is, the harder it is going to be to achieve childhood compliance. Although people off the street such as grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, "friends", enemies, neighbors, teachers, etc. tend to think they understand why kids turn out the way that they do, even medical people aren't sure. We do now know that Freud was wrong (you ever wish you had a penis, Suz...hehe...as in penis envy). A lot of how a child turns out is genetic. </p><p></p><p>In the adoption world, most of us know that no matter how we raise our child the child is far more likely to be like his birthparents than us. There is a lot of DNA in everything about our children and ourselves. People who don't know that aren't worth paying attention to. Perhaps your older son is like his birth father and easy child is easier because he doesn't share that part of his brother's DNA. It is not your fault how your grown kids turn out. His coaches have absolutely zero training in human psychology. Their opinion is biased, due to things they were told probably by their own parents. Some people think if you don't clobber your kid, you are too soft.</p><p></p><p>Does it matter what they think? I'd give them the raspberries and put it out of your head.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 605978, member: 1550"] There is no parent on earth who "gets it right." There is no one way to parent any child. It is not possible to train a child like a dog and the child is not always going to want to please us and just because we say something the perfect way, he is not going to always respond the perfect way. The more difficult the temperament of our child is, the harder it is going to be to achieve childhood compliance. Although people off the street such as grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, "friends", enemies, neighbors, teachers, etc. tend to think they understand why kids turn out the way that they do, even medical people aren't sure. We do now know that Freud was wrong (you ever wish you had a penis, Suz...hehe...as in penis envy). A lot of how a child turns out is genetic. In the adoption world, most of us know that no matter how we raise our child the child is far more likely to be like his birthparents than us. There is a lot of DNA in everything about our children and ourselves. People who don't know that aren't worth paying attention to. Perhaps your older son is like his birth father and easy child is easier because he doesn't share that part of his brother's DNA. It is not your fault how your grown kids turn out. His coaches have absolutely zero training in human psychology. Their opinion is biased, due to things they were told probably by their own parents. Some people think if you don't clobber your kid, you are too soft. Does it matter what they think? I'd give them the raspberries and put it out of your head. [/QUOTE]
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Too soft! Too strict! Ever known anyone who parented a difficult child right?
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