Took a Stand--Scary but relieved

[fallen angel]

Well as you all know I have been having a hard time dealing with youngest difficult child and him getting to school..he did not go two days this week and my husband told the school the truth..he could not get up...I get a call from difficult child at work yelling that I need to fix this since his dad does not know what is going on and now he has a no credit for a course he needs..ect..ect..so I call hubby who gets upset with me and goes on about it is his problem...I got so upset at work I had to take a tranquilzer...told my hubby he needed to call his son and I did not appreciate being put in the middle of this at work..told difficult child to talk to dad..long story short I called the guidance and made an appointment for today..told hubby in all fairness to difficult child..not that he deserves fair...put it on the line..we will fix this but from here on in he is on his own for graduating..dont' go school it is his problem.... I had meeting at guidance with difficult child and this was reinforced in front of counselor who told him the same thing...so now it is up to him..he cannot say he did not know ect...hubby and I are ok once we talk about it....I am a nervous wreck...cannot stand the yelling and constant it is my doing thing from difficult child...I feel stronger now that it has been said and put out there..it is truly up to him now..so we shall see...the paperwork to order cap and gown came..guess I will put the order in and pray..did this with oldest difficult child and it never got worn....summer school graduation is no big shakes and at that time big difficult child was in the deep depression, moved out ect....so maybe we will have that Kodak moment or perhaps not but I have done all I can do.....thanks for being there to here me vent. ..oh I guess I know deep down inside I should not have done what I did and make this right but somewhere along the line I need to do what I needed to do to live with this if he does not go to school and having it said in the school out loud seems to have given me some strenght and peace of mind...

 

[KFld]

Sometimes we feel we need to give it just one more try and hope it works. As long as you stick to this being your last try and leaving it up to him from here out, then that is fine. If he doesn't do what he is supposed to and you find you want to give him one more last try, then that will be sending him the signal that you aren't really serious when you say, this is the last time.
I remember the praying and hoping that difficult child would just make it out of highschool. Mine didn't attend his graduation, which really really bothered me at first, but 2 years later I realize the most important thing is that he graduated!! We need to really put things into perspective when it comes to a difficult child. There are many things we will miss them doing in life, but we have to decide which ones are really important. My difficult child not walking in his cap and gown will not effect his future at all, but not graduating would have. I have learned to do this often with him. I guess I already went through my mourning period of the events I have already and will miss, and it sounds like that is where you are at now. It will get better. I promise!!

 

[Loris]

I agree with Karen, it's fine to give one last chance. Just make sure you stick to it, or he will decide he can do as he pleases. It's never easy, but we have to stick with what we tell them. I do understand how stressful it is. I hope it gets better.