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Substance Abuse
Torn btwn Husband & Addicted Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="_mom_of_3" data-source="post: 667918" data-attributes="member: 19585"><p>Your post could have been written by me, except I have a son and he is ALMOST 18. Just a month away today. The past couple of years have been so hard. My husband feels just the same as yours does and I feel just the same as you do. My ex-husband (son's father) and his wife are involved as well and together all four of us parents have tried everything possible to help him. Our son lasted two weeks in rehab. He's been in juvenile detention for weeks and weeks at a time on several different occasions to no avail though. Every time he is released he comes to either our house or his father's house and inevitably he ends up breaking the rules, back on drugs, and back in detention. I'm both relieved and terrified all at the same time that he will be 18 in one month. Relieved because we finally will not be legally responsible for his choices and he can do what he wants and we HOPE and PRAY he will realize that all this time we've just been trying to help him; and terrified because I live my life daily knowing that there is a VERY high possibility that my son will be dead soon. If not dead he'll end up in jail for a lot of his life until and unless he changes his ways.</p><p>I don't have any advice for you. I am just sorry that you're going through it. I know exactly how you feel and it is so terrible. So know that you are not alone. These past three years have been absolutely terrible for our family and for my son. There have been a couple of times where he was sober for a month or month and a half and it was so wonderful during those times, but I always worried that it was going to end and the chaos would begin again. We have other kids who have been put through hell and back again and I feel like I've sacrificed their well-being and their futures because they have had to be around all this chaos and upheaval so much that they don't know what a normal life or normal family is supposed to be like. I feel really badly for my ex and his wife too. Luckily we all have each other and support each other. This issue with our son drove us apart initially and we all fought a lot and questioned the other's parenting, but within the past 6 months we've all begun to see that our son has been the one dividing us all and since we've stood united we have all done much better. We hope and pray each day that he sees what he's doing and makes the necessary changes to be healthy and happy, but he really refuses to help himself at this point. It is such a hopeless and helpless feeling sometimes. He is currently in detention again after being arrested this week for possession. I am the one who reported it and had him arrested. I deal with so much self-doubt and sadness all the time. I HATE being the one to turn him in but I am NOT allowing drugs in my home and around my other children. I'll be praying for you...and all of us. God speed, _mom_of_3</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="_mom_of_3, post: 667918, member: 19585"] Your post could have been written by me, except I have a son and he is ALMOST 18. Just a month away today. The past couple of years have been so hard. My husband feels just the same as yours does and I feel just the same as you do. My ex-husband (son's father) and his wife are involved as well and together all four of us parents have tried everything possible to help him. Our son lasted two weeks in rehab. He's been in juvenile detention for weeks and weeks at a time on several different occasions to no avail though. Every time he is released he comes to either our house or his father's house and inevitably he ends up breaking the rules, back on drugs, and back in detention. I'm both relieved and terrified all at the same time that he will be 18 in one month. Relieved because we finally will not be legally responsible for his choices and he can do what he wants and we HOPE and PRAY he will realize that all this time we've just been trying to help him; and terrified because I live my life daily knowing that there is a VERY high possibility that my son will be dead soon. If not dead he'll end up in jail for a lot of his life until and unless he changes his ways. I don't have any advice for you. I am just sorry that you're going through it. I know exactly how you feel and it is so terrible. So know that you are not alone. These past three years have been absolutely terrible for our family and for my son. There have been a couple of times where he was sober for a month or month and a half and it was so wonderful during those times, but I always worried that it was going to end and the chaos would begin again. We have other kids who have been put through hell and back again and I feel like I've sacrificed their well-being and their futures because they have had to be around all this chaos and upheaval so much that they don't know what a normal life or normal family is supposed to be like. I feel really badly for my ex and his wife too. Luckily we all have each other and support each other. This issue with our son drove us apart initially and we all fought a lot and questioned the other's parenting, but within the past 6 months we've all begun to see that our son has been the one dividing us all and since we've stood united we have all done much better. We hope and pray each day that he sees what he's doing and makes the necessary changes to be healthy and happy, but he really refuses to help himself at this point. It is such a hopeless and helpless feeling sometimes. He is currently in detention again after being arrested this week for possession. I am the one who reported it and had him arrested. I deal with so much self-doubt and sadness all the time. I HATE being the one to turn him in but I am NOT allowing drugs in my home and around my other children. I'll be praying for you...and all of us. God speed, _mom_of_3 [/QUOTE]
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