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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 284289" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that he is being so difficult. Are you planning to let him keep all the stuff he trashed when he tantrummed in his room? When Wiz was acting that way I usually didn't let him keep the stuff he tossed around. Less stuff in his room = less stuff to throw around. Whether I did this or not depended on why he was acting that way. If it was because he didn't want to do something, or he didn't like a house rule, then he lost the stuff. If it was because he was hurting and couldn't express it, or because something that had happened to hurt him, then I wasn't always so tough.</p><p></p><p>I am glad that husband was willing to come home and help - he seems really supportive that way. What does husband think the consequences for the trashed room should be?</p><p></p><p>I hope it gets easier for you. </p><p></p><p>One thing husband and I did (and it may or may not work for you all) was that if one of the kids started having a fit over not being allowed to do something, or of having to turn something off (it was almost always the computer or tv or gameboy) then that iten had to go away for a while. </p><p></p><p>Essentially we felt that if tv was so terribly important that a child had to hurt someone or destroy things if they couldn't have it, then that person needed some time without it so that they could see the world has more to it than just tv (or whatever). We had/have kids who can get so focused on something with a screen that they won't engage in real life. It never seemed healthy, so we would "broaden their horizons" with removal of electronic privileges at times. </p><p></p><p>That may not work for you. It was always a really tough few days and we couldn't alway do it. It did help my kids learn that if they had a fit then they were going to lose whatever it was that was more important than treating the family and the home with respect.</p><p></p><p>Enjoy your day and the rest of hte week. And especially sleep away camp!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 284289, member: 1233"] I am sorry that he is being so difficult. Are you planning to let him keep all the stuff he trashed when he tantrummed in his room? When Wiz was acting that way I usually didn't let him keep the stuff he tossed around. Less stuff in his room = less stuff to throw around. Whether I did this or not depended on why he was acting that way. If it was because he didn't want to do something, or he didn't like a house rule, then he lost the stuff. If it was because he was hurting and couldn't express it, or because something that had happened to hurt him, then I wasn't always so tough. I am glad that husband was willing to come home and help - he seems really supportive that way. What does husband think the consequences for the trashed room should be? I hope it gets easier for you. One thing husband and I did (and it may or may not work for you all) was that if one of the kids started having a fit over not being allowed to do something, or of having to turn something off (it was almost always the computer or tv or gameboy) then that iten had to go away for a while. Essentially we felt that if tv was so terribly important that a child had to hurt someone or destroy things if they couldn't have it, then that person needed some time without it so that they could see the world has more to it than just tv (or whatever). We had/have kids who can get so focused on something with a screen that they won't engage in real life. It never seemed healthy, so we would "broaden their horizons" with removal of electronic privileges at times. That may not work for you. It was always a really tough few days and we couldn't alway do it. It did help my kids learn that if they had a fit then they were going to lose whatever it was that was more important than treating the family and the home with respect. Enjoy your day and the rest of hte week. And especially sleep away camp! [/QUOTE]
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