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Trading one mess for another
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764547" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think this is more common than people acknowledge. You are so well-served by your honesty, I think.</p><p></p><p>Yes. But the thing is, only we can find our peace. You can set internal and external boundaries in such a way as to not be so vulnerable to his acting out. Even if you do live with him. <em><strong>But the thing is he is undercutting you in ways you can't defend yourself. Like inviting people without consulting you, in your own home. No go. I would go ballistic. I have.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>I so much agree with Deni about insisting he get checked out medically and psychologically. INSIST. In my state which is California, the University of California has neuropsychological clinics that serve all ages but especially focus on older adults that may be declining, to rule out anything serious. I trust those people. If you want to PM me I will look around in your state to see if I can find someplace excellent. In my state, it is completely covered by Medicare. I took my son there when he was a toddler. There should be a psychiatrist, and social worker involved and a neuropsychologist.</p><p>What you are describing is a serious and pervasive change in your husband's behavior. This is a red flag. Of course, it's more than annoying. But for a wife, it's terrifying and troubling. This happened to my girlfriend's husband. And she went nuts. Just nuts. That was her and you are you</p><p>I think you sometimes don't fully accept and acknowledge your great strength and resilience as a person. The way you turned things around with your daughter, and supported her to turn things around for herself, was so deeply admirable. How many stories are there like this on this forum? Not many. You can cope with far more than you acknowledge. Should you? No. But often our options are none of them that good. We have to go with the least worst. I think Deni's post gives excellent guidance.</p><p></p><p>PS. Thank you for asking about me, and us. Things are not as bad as they have been but still nowhere near good. I have been working and I am very, very tired. I chose it but sometimes I feel nothing could be worth this fatigue. I don't know if you remember M, the man I used to live with who has helped me so much. We're getting closer again, after living apart a number of years.. That is good. He is so supportive and kind to me. I need to acknowledge and be grateful for the blessings. Love, Copa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764547, member: 18958"] I think this is more common than people acknowledge. You are so well-served by your honesty, I think. Yes. But the thing is, only we can find our peace. You can set internal and external boundaries in such a way as to not be so vulnerable to his acting out. Even if you do live with him. [I][B]But the thing is he is undercutting you in ways you can't defend yourself. Like inviting people without consulting you, in your own home. No go. I would go ballistic. I have.[/B][/I] I so much agree with Deni about insisting he get checked out medically and psychologically. INSIST. In my state which is California, the University of California has neuropsychological clinics that serve all ages but especially focus on older adults that may be declining, to rule out anything serious. I trust those people. If you want to PM me I will look around in your state to see if I can find someplace excellent. In my state, it is completely covered by Medicare. I took my son there when he was a toddler. There should be a psychiatrist, and social worker involved and a neuropsychologist. What you are describing is a serious and pervasive change in your husband's behavior. This is a red flag. Of course, it's more than annoying. But for a wife, it's terrifying and troubling. This happened to my girlfriend's husband. And she went nuts. Just nuts. That was her and you are you I think you sometimes don't fully accept and acknowledge your great strength and resilience as a person. The way you turned things around with your daughter, and supported her to turn things around for herself, was so deeply admirable. How many stories are there like this on this forum? Not many. You can cope with far more than you acknowledge. Should you? No. But often our options are none of them that good. We have to go with the least worst. I think Deni's post gives excellent guidance. PS. Thank you for asking about me, and us. Things are not as bad as they have been but still nowhere near good. I have been working and I am very, very tired. I chose it but sometimes I feel nothing could be worth this fatigue. I don't know if you remember M, the man I used to live with who has helped me so much. We're getting closer again, after living apart a number of years.. That is good. He is so supportive and kind to me. I need to acknowledge and be grateful for the blessings. Love, Copa [/QUOTE]
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