Tragic loss

isabel

New Member
My nephew, 18, took his life in the early morning hours of last Saturday. He had problems for years and was unable to come to terms with his demons. There was some intervention over the last few years, but...not enough. My family, my brother, is beyond devastation. There are no words...just a hole in the heart.

He asked me two years ago if he could come live with me, have a fresh start. He promised me that he would "be good". I agonized over whether I should let him come to my home or not. In the end I told him no, I couldn't, not with my difficult child so unstable. This will be one of my greatest and most heartbreaking regrets. I know that it might not have changed a thing, but at least I would have tried. I know I let him down and now he's gone. He was a sweet, loving child and young adult and we are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he is gone.
 

wakeupcall

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry, isabel. My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is a difficult time for all of you. The pain is great.
 

LittleDudesMom

Well-Known Member
Isobel,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your nephew. Please don't berate yourself or feel guilty that you were unable to take him in a couple years ago. You had your hands full with your little difficult child. He understands. He knows you loved him.

Lots of hugs.

Sharon
 
You will go through a period of time that you will blame yourself; it is the "negotiation" stage of grieving. (if only I had done this or that, maybe this would not have happened). But know that it is not your fault.

May God comfort you and your family in your time of grief. I am so sorry for your hurt.
 

slsh

member since 1999
Isabel,

I'm so very sorry. Many gentle hugs to you, and healing thoughts for your family. Such a huge loss.

Please be kind to yourself.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Awww Izzy,

Im so sorry. Many prayers going up to your family from all of us.

Soft hugs, Janet, Tony, Billy, Jamie, Billie, Cory, Keyana.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
Isabel, you are right. There are no words for a tragedy such as this. I'm so terribly sorry.

Hugs,
Suz
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
<span style='font-size: 11pt'>My heart breaks for you,isabel. I hate what this disease does to families. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know there are a lot of what if's that you and everyone who loved him carry. I don't think anyone can take those away but they aren't accurate. Everyone tried the best they knew. You were just treading water with your difficult child. You couldn't take on the weight of another without the whole thing sinking.
Gentle hugs. </span>
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Isabel,

My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that in time you will be able to remember the happier times. There are no words, you are right. Please know that I am praying for you.

You did not let him down. In time I hope you come to see this. You had to take care of your difficult child, and he has needed so much. He knows that you love him, he understands. He is safe with God.

Susie
 

kris

New Member
<span style='font-size: 11pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #003300"> my dear friend. my heart breaks for you & with you.

kris
</span> </span> </span>
 

Lothlorien

Active Member
so very sorry. Don't beat yourself up over the decision not to have him in your home. You did what you thought was best for your child and you were probably right.
 

judi

Active Member
Isabel - I am so sorry for your loss. How terribly tragic. You must know that you could not help him. We must all know that we do what we can for these kids.
 

Sheila

Moderator
I'm so very sorry. What an awful tragedy.

It's the illness, Isabel. It didn't have anything to do with what you did or didn't do.
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself. It was beyond your control. Sending gentle hugs and prayers your way.
 
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