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Parent Emeritus
Treating them like an adult is confusing...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 695208" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Lil, I understand your confusion. You know in your gut and your heart that him drinking in your house (or anywhere else for that matter) isn't a good thing for him. That's why you're confused I believe.</p><p></p><p>I drink some socially. I like to have a glass or wine or a beer in my own house. Today, when Difficult Child is there, I don't do it. We just don't have alcohol when he's there. I was confused about that for a long time, and sometimes I did drink when he was there, but today I don't. It just seems better, to me, not to.</p><p></p><p>My ex-husband---Difficult Child's dad---is a recovering alcoholic. Difficult Child is a substance abuser. I know he drinks beer right now, sometimes, because he says he does. I think that is a really bad idea for him, but there is nothing I can do about it. Except, when he's at my house, I don't have to provide it to him or drink it in front of him. I can't control what he does elsewhere.</p><p></p><p>We often say here: my house, my rules. My house, my sanctuary. As long as Difficult Child is in your house, I would make rules that reflect your own beliefs and values. He doesn't have to like them or agree with them. He just has to go by them as long as he lives there. Once he moves out, he can make his own rules. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Your post goes under the headline: It's hard to have our adult children---DCs or PCs---living in our homes with us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 695208, member: 17542"] Lil, I understand your confusion. You know in your gut and your heart that him drinking in your house (or anywhere else for that matter) isn't a good thing for him. That's why you're confused I believe. I drink some socially. I like to have a glass or wine or a beer in my own house. Today, when Difficult Child is there, I don't do it. We just don't have alcohol when he's there. I was confused about that for a long time, and sometimes I did drink when he was there, but today I don't. It just seems better, to me, not to. My ex-husband---Difficult Child's dad---is a recovering alcoholic. Difficult Child is a substance abuser. I know he drinks beer right now, sometimes, because he says he does. I think that is a really bad idea for him, but there is nothing I can do about it. Except, when he's at my house, I don't have to provide it to him or drink it in front of him. I can't control what he does elsewhere. We often say here: my house, my rules. My house, my sanctuary. As long as Difficult Child is in your house, I would make rules that reflect your own beliefs and values. He doesn't have to like them or agree with them. He just has to go by them as long as he lives there. Once he moves out, he can make his own rules. Warm hugs. Your post goes under the headline: It's hard to have our adult children---DCs or PCs---living in our homes with us. [/QUOTE]
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