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General Parenting
Troubled 13yo from tough background is extremely defiant
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<blockquote data-quote="orcaauntie" data-source="post: 457441" data-attributes="member: 12721"><p>Thank you, Allan. Do you recommend sitting down with Niece and ask her what she needs? I did recomment to Mom yesterday afternoon to sit down with Niece and say "I've noticed we haven't been getting along lately. What can we do to solve this? What do you need from me?", and when she tells her- Mom can say something she needs from Niece.. reciprocating. </p><p>No bad cop- got it. Except there does need to be consequences for her actions in order to set and maintain limits (in my opinion). </p><p></p><p>Can any of you suggest ways to get Niece to trust Mom? Also, niece has said she does not think my Mom trusts her. This is a big issue and Mom and I talked about it last night. While Niece was visiting me, I sat down with her on her bed, in her room so she was comfortable, and asked her- "What can we do to get you and Meme to not fight so much?" And she said- "I want her to trust me.".. so any suggestions on how to make this happen? </p><p></p><p>I will also discuss grandpa's behavior with my Mom. However, I am not sure he will listen/follow through- he is very stubborn. He does tell Niece she needs to behave. But when Niece thinks that Grandpa doesn't care what Niece calls my Mom, that is a problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="orcaauntie, post: 457441, member: 12721"] Thank you, Allan. Do you recommend sitting down with Niece and ask her what she needs? I did recomment to Mom yesterday afternoon to sit down with Niece and say "I've noticed we haven't been getting along lately. What can we do to solve this? What do you need from me?", and when she tells her- Mom can say something she needs from Niece.. reciprocating. No bad cop- got it. Except there does need to be consequences for her actions in order to set and maintain limits (in my opinion). Can any of you suggest ways to get Niece to trust Mom? Also, niece has said she does not think my Mom trusts her. This is a big issue and Mom and I talked about it last night. While Niece was visiting me, I sat down with her on her bed, in her room so she was comfortable, and asked her- "What can we do to get you and Meme to not fight so much?" And she said- "I want her to trust me.".. so any suggestions on how to make this happen? I will also discuss grandpa's behavior with my Mom. However, I am not sure he will listen/follow through- he is very stubborn. He does tell Niece she needs to behave. But when Niece thinks that Grandpa doesn't care what Niece calls my Mom, that is a problem. [/QUOTE]
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