Hi Everyone: I started reading this post awhile back and felt right at home. Learned alot too even after going through ODD Executive Functioning problems and substance abuse with my 28 year old son. I blamed myself for not being a perfect mother for years and the guilt really made me an easy target for my son. But most recently I realize that he is not my responsibility and his poor choices are not my fault. The shift has made a huge difference. My son has been clean from heroin for 5 years and alcohol for a year. I have gone through some unemployment difficulties and he has been living with me. Helping me with the bills. He has tried to go back to school and works full time but the executive functioning gets him only so far. We get along ok but we both would prefer not to live together. Problem is the executive functioning affects and has always affected his occupational and academic functioning. He is able to hold down a job sometimes two jobs but they are very low paying. If he could just somehow get a job that would support him he would be good to go. Any ideas? Or anything that has worked for your adult children? In all other areas he functions adequately enough. Once I gave up my expectations of how I wanted him to function and practiced radical acceptance it got much easier. My process has taken a long time Still working on it but I am feeling alot better.