Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Tuesday's child...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619901" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh COM, I can so relate to wanting to build walls between them and us. We have been so vulnerable to their lies, their manipulations, their uncanny way of knowing what to say or do so that our hearts will hurt and we will waver in our stand to set that last boundary. It is devastating to live like that for any length of time. I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I would have done all the exact same things you did, including the run to the post office with the post card, anything to prevent that face from showing up unexpectedly at my door in the middle of the night......... on a cold, dark night...............geez. </p><p></p><p>It's like covering all the loop holes, making sure there is no entry point. I understand the frantic urge to do that. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>Your story brings this to mind.............in the middle of my daughter's incarceration where the daily phone calls to go get her car out of impound, but pay the registration first, go to the police dept.to pick up stuff, go here, go there, write checks, pay for this.........I was frantic. And, driving home from the jail one day, I was crying and SO said, "I have this image of you and difficult child in a boat and the boat has a lot of holes in it. You are frantically making every attempt to fill up the holes..............and difficult child is making new ones." I can still recall exactly where we were on the road, and to this day when I am there, I recall him saying that. For some reason it made so much sense to me, it was one of those ah ha moments where change is afoot.</p><p></p><p>Your story reminded me of that frantic energy we get, to fix it or to keep ourselves safe from it...........but it has a certain sharp edge to it brought to us by difficult child and their never ending inability to be absolutely unaware of the consequences of their actions on others, in particularly, their parents. </p><p></p><p>You have really done all you can do. Now take a deep breath and know that you can trust yourself to do the exact right thing for you when the time comes. Since you now know the date he will be released, perhaps you and SO can go to the city or the next town and stay the night somewhere while difficult child's backpack and note sit on your front porch. OR you can ask SO to hand it to him if you stay home and difficult child comes over............don't put yourself in the position of having to see him. </p><p></p><p>You've done a terrific job of covering all the bases that will take care of you.............relax now..............you have a few days of freedom before he gets out..........go enjoy the sunny, blue skies and all the moments of your days...............sending you caring thoughts and prayers for your peace.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619901, member: 13542"] Oh COM, I can so relate to wanting to build walls between them and us. We have been so vulnerable to their lies, their manipulations, their uncanny way of knowing what to say or do so that our hearts will hurt and we will waver in our stand to set that last boundary. It is devastating to live like that for any length of time. I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I would have done all the exact same things you did, including the run to the post office with the post card, anything to prevent that face from showing up unexpectedly at my door in the middle of the night......... on a cold, dark night...............geez. It's like covering all the loop holes, making sure there is no entry point. I understand the frantic urge to do that. Sigh. Your story brings this to mind.............in the middle of my daughter's incarceration where the daily phone calls to go get her car out of impound, but pay the registration first, go to the police dept.to pick up stuff, go here, go there, write checks, pay for this.........I was frantic. And, driving home from the jail one day, I was crying and SO said, "I have this image of you and difficult child in a boat and the boat has a lot of holes in it. You are frantically making every attempt to fill up the holes..............and difficult child is making new ones." I can still recall exactly where we were on the road, and to this day when I am there, I recall him saying that. For some reason it made so much sense to me, it was one of those ah ha moments where change is afoot. Your story reminded me of that frantic energy we get, to fix it or to keep ourselves safe from it...........but it has a certain sharp edge to it brought to us by difficult child and their never ending inability to be absolutely unaware of the consequences of their actions on others, in particularly, their parents. You have really done all you can do. Now take a deep breath and know that you can trust yourself to do the exact right thing for you when the time comes. Since you now know the date he will be released, perhaps you and SO can go to the city or the next town and stay the night somewhere while difficult child's backpack and note sit on your front porch. OR you can ask SO to hand it to him if you stay home and difficult child comes over............don't put yourself in the position of having to see him. You've done a terrific job of covering all the bases that will take care of you.............relax now..............you have a few days of freedom before he gets out..........go enjoy the sunny, blue skies and all the moments of your days...............sending you caring thoughts and prayers for your peace............. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Tuesday's child...
Top