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Turns Out That My Feelings of Dread were Correct
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 282525" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>i am so sorry that you were correct. The entire situation stinks. But how BLESSED your family is that you thought of this NOW. If it was much later after she had done something irreversable then things would be far far worse. Because you can't just say you are sorry after you act out those things she is talking about.</p><p></p><p>I hate that you had to invest in doors, key locks, etc... But they may keep you ALL safe from your difficult child. I know when Wiz was acting out violently one of my biggest fears would be that he would kill or maim one of us. Not only for the victim, but also afraid for HIM. Emotionally the guilt and aftermath of that would have driven him to suicide or a long life of horrendous crushing guilt. </p><p></p><p>As it is he knows I have nerve damage in one hand from an attack from him. It happened over 4 years ago and he STILL apologizes, will give me a gentle hand rub, even kiss it - and he does NOT give kisses often. Never has. He even has thanked me for keeping him from doing greater harm, recognizing NOW that he was really really messed up. But it has been one heck of a long road to here.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child will be very well served by your instincts. Our instincts are often what keeps our kids from real harm. It is part of the reason we have them, in my opinion. You doubted yourself on this, but the feeling was strong. So you "set" a trap so you could know if she has been sneaking out. </p><p></p><p>Don't start doubting your instincts now. don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. Not a friend, relative, or "expert".</p><p></p><p>I hope you can continue to file reports, even if it gets to seeming pointless. Because as soon as she is 18 you will be able to do very little to enforce anything or get help for her.</p><p></p><p>You may want to work on plans for what she will do after her 18th birthday. I think I would have a hard time keeping her at home with this violence. She very well may be a danger to your other child. That will have to be figured in. You and husband may want to seek some counselling to figure this out.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs. I am so glad she has you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 282525, member: 1233"] i am so sorry that you were correct. The entire situation stinks. But how BLESSED your family is that you thought of this NOW. If it was much later after she had done something irreversable then things would be far far worse. Because you can't just say you are sorry after you act out those things she is talking about. I hate that you had to invest in doors, key locks, etc... But they may keep you ALL safe from your difficult child. I know when Wiz was acting out violently one of my biggest fears would be that he would kill or maim one of us. Not only for the victim, but also afraid for HIM. Emotionally the guilt and aftermath of that would have driven him to suicide or a long life of horrendous crushing guilt. As it is he knows I have nerve damage in one hand from an attack from him. It happened over 4 years ago and he STILL apologizes, will give me a gentle hand rub, even kiss it - and he does NOT give kisses often. Never has. He even has thanked me for keeping him from doing greater harm, recognizing NOW that he was really really messed up. But it has been one heck of a long road to here. Your difficult child will be very well served by your instincts. Our instincts are often what keeps our kids from real harm. It is part of the reason we have them, in my opinion. You doubted yourself on this, but the feeling was strong. So you "set" a trap so you could know if she has been sneaking out. Don't start doubting your instincts now. don't let anyone make you doubt yourself. Not a friend, relative, or "expert". I hope you can continue to file reports, even if it gets to seeming pointless. Because as soon as she is 18 you will be able to do very little to enforce anything or get help for her. You may want to work on plans for what she will do after her 18th birthday. I think I would have a hard time keeping her at home with this violence. She very well may be a danger to your other child. That will have to be figured in. You and husband may want to seek some counselling to figure this out. Gentle hugs. I am so glad she has you. [/QUOTE]
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