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two pronged Jamie post
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 173341" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Bless sweet Jamie's heart. I always think of him when remembering the soldiers who do us proud.</p><p></p><p>Janet, coming from a responsible "fixer" tell Jamie that he is not the sole caretaker for everyone. When it gets to the point that he is drowning in other's needs, he has to sit back and save himself. His wife is an adult. His brother's are adults and his parents are adults. They can all pitch in and pull some of the weight he is carrying. If he allows others to bridge the gap, he will feel less overwhelmed and others will be more involved in their own ability to be able to fix things. He can become addicted to being the saver and find that he lost himself. </p><p></p><p>If I had to do it over again, I would have really worked hard on behavior modification. I would have researched and intervened much more in difficult child's behavior at that young age instead of trying to convince myself that he was just being a boy or an only child. It was all nonsense and denial on my part. None of it has to be punishment but redirecting behavior to receive a approval/reward. The older I get the less inclined I am to the smack on the butt. I used it until 5 but I wouldn't if I had to do it again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 173341, member: 3"] Bless sweet Jamie's heart. I always think of him when remembering the soldiers who do us proud. Janet, coming from a responsible "fixer" tell Jamie that he is not the sole caretaker for everyone. When it gets to the point that he is drowning in other's needs, he has to sit back and save himself. His wife is an adult. His brother's are adults and his parents are adults. They can all pitch in and pull some of the weight he is carrying. If he allows others to bridge the gap, he will feel less overwhelmed and others will be more involved in their own ability to be able to fix things. He can become addicted to being the saver and find that he lost himself. If I had to do it over again, I would have really worked hard on behavior modification. I would have researched and intervened much more in difficult child's behavior at that young age instead of trying to convince myself that he was just being a boy or an only child. It was all nonsense and denial on my part. None of it has to be punishment but redirecting behavior to receive a approval/reward. The older I get the less inclined I am to the smack on the butt. I used it until 5 but I wouldn't if I had to do it again. [/QUOTE]
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