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Substance Abuse
Ugh the pressure has started.....need strength
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 629267" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Having adopted kids, they need to be treated the same way you'd treat any child or they feel different and not quite accepted. At least that is what the psychologist I saw who only sees adopted kids told me. </p><p></p><p>This is a little off topic, but it may make you smile a bit.</p><p></p><p>I read in an adoption magazine or book that if an adopted child starts using guilt by saying "you're not my real mom" when they are angry and trying to throw a dart at you, you should say something like, "Your birthmother would agree with me." I never thought I'd use it but one day Julie was angry at me and said, "My REAL mother would be nice to me."</p><p></p><p>I said calmly, "Your birthmother would react the same as I am, considering the circumstances."</p><p></p><p>That stopped her. She was speechless...lol.</p><p></p><p>I never heard about her "real" mom that way again.</p><p></p><p>I think sometimes we think our adopted kids are more fragile than they are. I do agree they can easily suffer from abandonment issues, but they do know how to behave if we taught them. Not abandoning them emotionally does not mean we have to give them money and enable illegal behavior. Adopted kids have to live in the real world too.</p><p></p><p>I don't think putting a small amount of money in the canteen will destroy him, but unless you know what he is using it for...well, a lot of illegal stuff goes on in jail. Sounds funny, but it's true. Maybe he'll have to sit and think about what he is doing with his life if he can't gamble or do what they do with their money in jail. I guess it's a waiting game...</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 629267, member: 1550"] Having adopted kids, they need to be treated the same way you'd treat any child or they feel different and not quite accepted. At least that is what the psychologist I saw who only sees adopted kids told me. This is a little off topic, but it may make you smile a bit. I read in an adoption magazine or book that if an adopted child starts using guilt by saying "you're not my real mom" when they are angry and trying to throw a dart at you, you should say something like, "Your birthmother would agree with me." I never thought I'd use it but one day Julie was angry at me and said, "My REAL mother would be nice to me." I said calmly, "Your birthmother would react the same as I am, considering the circumstances." That stopped her. She was speechless...lol. I never heard about her "real" mom that way again. I think sometimes we think our adopted kids are more fragile than they are. I do agree they can easily suffer from abandonment issues, but they do know how to behave if we taught them. Not abandoning them emotionally does not mean we have to give them money and enable illegal behavior. Adopted kids have to live in the real world too. I don't think putting a small amount of money in the canteen will destroy him, but unless you know what he is using it for...well, a lot of illegal stuff goes on in jail. Sounds funny, but it's true. Maybe he'll have to sit and think about what he is doing with his life if he can't gamble or do what they do with their money in jail. I guess it's a waiting game... Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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Ugh the pressure has started.....need strength
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