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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 411054" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Tough -</p><p> </p><p>I think this would be very easy to tell who was pulling whose wool. If son has a cell phone? See if there is a call on it FROM xgf and what time and date. If the call was supposedly placed to the TBS? They would have a record of her calling there. The question I would have -how did she get the number, why would she have it? If in fact she had NOT called him - then there would be only HIS call to her on THEIR bill - and no outbound calls from any of their or her numbers to your son. (IF anyone had to prove or disprove whom was calling whom) </p><p> </p><p>As far as they hate you etc? I'm not feeling that at all. I think it's just like any OTHER boy/girl relationship with or without the GFGness. When there is teen drama? There is teen drama - and no parent wants to relive any part of the crying, the door slamming, the pouting, the weirdness . I mean teen girls are weird enough without the added removal of the glitter of a boyfriend whether he was difficult child or not. So in this case to be cliche'? I'd mark this up to 'it's not you it's me'. WITH the added GFGness of the drugs, drama and mental illnessish stuff? Yeah any Father could get just a teentsy more protective and pro-no-you-don't. So he's really just being a Dad, doing what Dad's do. Growly bear stuff. </p><p> </p><p>If it were me? I probably would NOT contact anyone. I don't think you 'OWE' anyone anything. It's not like they are (holds hand high up) here and you are (holds hand slightly lower) here. You both have kids, they're older, they had a relationship, for whatever reason it didn't work out, the Father called you more than likely because (and I'm with shelly67 on this) he's noticed that the girlfriend called your son - and said in a growly bear voice I WILL PUT AN END TO THIS - and since he couldn't call a rehab or tbs or whatever - he's called whom he could, and probably reemed his daughter a new one on that end - but did you notice he didn't say "and I told HER she's not to contact him?" .....So yeah - I don't think you owe anyone anything here. Just a guess of course - but it could have been something as simple as your son ran into someone and gave that person his number, and THEY gave it to old girlfriend, and she called out of 'wonder how he is' and it's gotten blown out of proportion or something. Hard to tell. </p><p> </p><p>If difficult child said - I have no problem talking to her, but her Dad doesn't like it? Well - there again he has an adult decision to make doesn't he? So I guess it's up to him. You've done your part and if it comes up again? I think I'd say - "I did call my son. Now maybe you'd like to speak to his therapist - here's his number." and leave it at that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 411054, member: 4964"] Tough - I think this would be very easy to tell who was pulling whose wool. If son has a cell phone? See if there is a call on it FROM xgf and what time and date. If the call was supposedly placed to the TBS? They would have a record of her calling there. The question I would have -how did she get the number, why would she have it? If in fact she had NOT called him - then there would be only HIS call to her on THEIR bill - and no outbound calls from any of their or her numbers to your son. (IF anyone had to prove or disprove whom was calling whom) As far as they hate you etc? I'm not feeling that at all. I think it's just like any OTHER boy/girl relationship with or without the GFGness. When there is teen drama? There is teen drama - and no parent wants to relive any part of the crying, the door slamming, the pouting, the weirdness . I mean teen girls are weird enough without the added removal of the glitter of a boyfriend whether he was difficult child or not. So in this case to be cliche'? I'd mark this up to 'it's not you it's me'. WITH the added GFGness of the drugs, drama and mental illnessish stuff? Yeah any Father could get just a teentsy more protective and pro-no-you-don't. So he's really just being a Dad, doing what Dad's do. Growly bear stuff. If it were me? I probably would NOT contact anyone. I don't think you 'OWE' anyone anything. It's not like they are (holds hand high up) here and you are (holds hand slightly lower) here. You both have kids, they're older, they had a relationship, for whatever reason it didn't work out, the Father called you more than likely because (and I'm with shelly67 on this) he's noticed that the girlfriend called your son - and said in a growly bear voice I WILL PUT AN END TO THIS - and since he couldn't call a rehab or tbs or whatever - he's called whom he could, and probably reemed his daughter a new one on that end - but did you notice he didn't say "and I told HER she's not to contact him?" .....So yeah - I don't think you owe anyone anything here. Just a guess of course - but it could have been something as simple as your son ran into someone and gave that person his number, and THEY gave it to old girlfriend, and she called out of 'wonder how he is' and it's gotten blown out of proportion or something. Hard to tell. If difficult child said - I have no problem talking to her, but her Dad doesn't like it? Well - there again he has an adult decision to make doesn't he? So I guess it's up to him. You've done your part and if it comes up again? I think I'd say - "I did call my son. Now maybe you'd like to speak to his therapist - here's his number." and leave it at that. [/QUOTE]
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