Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by flutterby, Jul 24, 2009.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Long story short, difficult child had her semi-weekly "I can't sleep, but I won't take the medications prescribed to help; they just need to fix it" rant.

    I'm too tired to go into details.

    This kid....she refuses to help herself or to take any help offered.

    I try not to engage. I do the, I'm sorry to hear that kinda response. That just seems to amp her up even more.

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. It sure seems she is trying to refuse the help after she asks for it. Hopefully the therapist can get her to see that the problems can be helped and that she has to work for the help.

    You are doing a great job in a very rough situation. Sending a big squishy rainbow colored hug to wrap you in peace, comfort and happiness and insulate you from all the negative energy.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow. She really is enjoying being miserable isn't she? Hugs. You need to develop a big case of let it go in one ear and out the other.

    It is hard when someone refuses to be helped.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Will she try natural supplements? Melatonin for sleep - it is found at GNC.
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I have so little patience anymore that I would have snapped if I were you. I would have just said "You can't sleep, these HELP you sleep. If you don't want to take them, don't whine around me 'cause I don't want to hear it"

    Drives me nuts when they complain about something they can DO something about!

    If she honestly has a problem/concern with sleeping pills though, has she tried warm baths? If she's willing (cause you know....that would actually be doing something for herself! :slap:) maybe she could use some bath salts or something like the baby wash with Lavender (?) in it that's supposed to help you relax.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sorry she's being so incredibly stubborn. :( Hope you get some sleep today and that you're able to keep from getting sucked into her drama.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    You're much more patient than I am, Heather. I had to designate a "no whining zone" because I just couldn't take it anymore. It's so frustrating when help is available, but it's not the right kind for them...

    Sending hugs for you.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am not saying this is what is going on in her head... but sometimes when I have my non-sleep nights, I get caught up in my head and how horrible it feels. I start over thinking things. By then I am elevated and nothing, nothing to me, can fix the problem.
    "Why take a stupid pill now I am already messed up kind of thinking" It doesn't make sense, and to the outsider it is SO frustrating...
    husband looks at me like he wants to kill me.

    I can't fully explain how I feel or why, but sometimes I just don't take them once I am awake.
    it is also stubborn, "I don't need these stupid pills!" kind of thinking. I want to sleep, but I am mad at myself for needing them. I am just sad and mad that I need anything and that I have to live like this at times.

    Maybe maybe not, just a thought?
  9. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Great ideas, ladies, but I hope you don't mind if I let you recommend them to her. :tongue: I've stopped doing that.

    We have melatonin and benadryl. "They don't work for me. Just because they work for me doesn't mean they're going to work for me. Nothing that is for sleep works for me!" They have worked for her. But, one time each they didn't so now they don't work. Period.

    Warm baths or showers. "They wake me up, not relax me. I've told you this a thousand times. Why don't you ever listen to me?!!!"

    Calming, soft music. "I can't have any noise when I'm trying to sleep. I've told you this a thousand times. Why don't you ever listen to me?!!!"

    Get the idea?

    She was prescribed amitriptyline at least a month ago. She has yet to try it, but she has decided it is not going to work for her. "It's for headaches!" It is for headaches, but it's also for sleep. "Just because it works for you doesn't mean it's going to work for me!" You won't know until you try it. "They aren't trying to find out what's wrong, they're just giving me medicine. I wanted to do a sleep study." No, you didn't. You were offered a sleep study months ago and you said, no. "No, I didn't. I said I didn't know."

    I seem to remember her saying, no. But, even if she didn't, she didn't say anything which means, no. She's only using it now because she thinks she can and then she has a "reason" to not try the medications. AND there are only so many things to be done for insomnia. I pity the person who tries to talk to her about sleep hygiene. :faint:

    And this evening, I was reading something on the computer and she walked in and said something. It takes me a second to switch gears, so I didn't hear what she said and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?"

    So, that means that I don't care, I never listen to her, I'm always interested in what everyone else has to say, but I don't care about her. :919Mad:

    I still don't know what she said. She refused to repeat it. Guess it wasn't that important. :rolleyes:

    She has no idea how many times easy child has come in here going on and on and on about something stupid - like video games - and after a few minutes he'll say, "You're not hearing a thing I say are you?" Nope. :tongue:
  10. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Oh, and I have to add....

    When she started this last night about not being able to sleep....she hadn't even tried to go to sleep yet. :hammer:
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Heather, I can see why you titled this thread UGH! I don't think I'd be sane now if difficult child didn't take medications for his sleep. Hugs.
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    About the only thing I can think of to reply to her tirades is to turn it around and ask her what she's going to do about it, or what she thinks she should do. Just reflect it back and refrain from getting sucked in... which it sounds like she's more interested in starting an argument than actually finding a solution to her "problem". My husband would do this once-upon-a-time: argue just for the sake of it. I think he was stimulated by it -- something about the chronic "boredom" he suffered from before he was medicated...
  13. ML

    ML Guest

    All i can say is that I'm so sorry. Just make sure she doesn't wake *you* up to whine about how *she* can't sleep. Ugh. Hugs, ML
  14. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    She finally decided to tell me a few hours ago what it was she wouldn't repeat earlier.

    And that is, she's hungry all the time. I told her it was probably a growth spurt, but of course it can't be that. She's done growing.

    She's 14. She's not done growing. But, I know nothing and since there were two kids in her 6th grade class who were "freakishly tall" and her science teacher said they were done growing (I'm sure she misinterpreted that), I am wrong. Nothing new.

    She stormed out of the room and slammed her door.

    But, she hasn't said anything about not being able to sleep and she went to bed several hours ago. I guess I should be thankful for that.
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Maybe the increased hunger is contributing to her cantankerous attitude... just a thought. :) That and the fact that she's not sleeping well. Is she getting enough protein during the day?
  16. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I think the cantankerous attitude is fueling the hunger. It takes a lot of energy to be that angry. And I do think she might be in a growth spurt. She's about due for one. It's been a while.

    And, yeah, she eats plenty of protein. She's my healthy eater.
  17. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    That is soooo frustrating. I hate it when they try to draw you in to their misery so that you feel like you're going crazy!

    Maybe if you just say calmly, "OK, thanks for letting me know. We'll talk to psychiatrist about it at the next visit." It lets her know you hear her "grievance," but takes you out of the position of solving all of her problems. Which of course we moms can't do because we don't know anything.

    This may not stop her complaints, but it may help you deal with it in a detached way -- something my therapist always promotes.